


Taken

by StarshineInTheDark



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: And it will get better, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Child Abandonment, Childhood Trauma, Crying, Drugs, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Family, Friendship, Gaslighting, Human Trafficking, Hurt/Comfort, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Kidnapping, Love, M/M, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Nothing Explicitly Described, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Child Abuse, Pedophilia, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Rape Recovery, Recovery, Sexual Assault, Underage Prostitution, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2020-07-29 02:51:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 30,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20074918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarshineInTheDark/pseuds/StarshineInTheDark
Summary: Thirteen years ago, their parents went missing. The Tsukishima house was left ravaged beyond repair, and all that was left behind were the meaningless numbers pressed into the uncertain palms of a frightened child, and an unfulfilled promise of return.Eight years ago, Tsukishima Kei became a victim of child abduction.Several years after an incident that scars both the Tsukishima brothers for the remainder of their lives, they are left with only the memories of the morbid past as they learn to overcome their hurdles and trauma through togetherness and self-discovery, though the shadows of the past are never too far behind.This story takes place in three timelines:Past:Before the incident.Concurrent:The incident itself.Present:After the incident.Contains heavily implied rape, abuse and trauma. Proceed with caution.Strongly inspired by the movies 'Kidnap' and 'Gardens of the Night'.





	1. PROLOGUE

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I've been blowing off posting this fic for a while now (mainly because of how subject heavy and emotional it gets), but then I just decided to fuck it and well... here we are. This isn't my first haikyuu!! fic, but it's the first one I'll be publishing, so with respect to me and other authors, give it as much criticism or praise as it needs (Hopefully I get more of the latter), and try to enjoy the little happy moments you might manage to snag while reading this. It's 3:00AM and I'm supposed to be sleeping.

  
_“And the cat goes…”_  
  
_“Meow!” “Meow!”_  
  
_“And the dog goes…”_  
  
_“Woof!” “Woof!”_  
  
_“And the pig goes—“_  
  
Blank.  
  
That was what the TV screen displayed as the house suddenly experienced total blackout. The little three year old sitting before the screen whined, his small tiny cries piercing through the thick darkness. The older blond sitting behind him, perched on the cream colored sofa, let out a sigh before proceeding his attempts to placate his younger brother.  
  
As his hands found the smaller one’s body, the sudden noise of the door crashing open echoed loudly within the house, causing him to jolt in shock, his arms wrapping around his younger brother who in turn held on to his pale blue pajama shirt.  
  
Silence met his ears a second after, the pounding of his fast beating heart the only thing he could make sense of. His brother was awfully quiet.  
  
“Akiteru?”  
  
“Mom?” he whispered, then repeated the name once more, louder. “Mom?”  
  
The sound of rushing footsteps pounded against the floor of the house, reaching the living room. The feint source of light emanating from the moon, through the blinds of the windows allowed him to see the silhouette of their mother standing behind the couch. As soon as Akiteru and his brother had been spotted, she rushed quickly to them, crouching down and allowing her hands to touch their faces. “Boys? Are you okay?” She sounded panicked, her hands shook, and her voice wavered.  
  
“Mommy? What’s wrong?” his younger brother asked, voice quiet and small.  
  
“Nothing baby, it’s nothing,” she replied, her lips kissing his blonde head gently. “Everything will be fine—”  
  
Screeching tires sounded in the far distance, red headlights flashing and illuminating their darkened house, an ominous air taking root immediately on his mother’s features as the light passed over them. No longer saying a word, she’d grabbed both of them, her hand holding Akiteru’s, the other carrying his brother on her waist as she ran through the house.  
  
“Mom?”  
  
Akiteru was ignored. The panicked woman’s quick breaths could be heard above her frightened muttering while she hurried them towards the direction of the stairs. Underneath the stairwell was a custom made cupboard built to fit the shape of the small space below the stairs, and he and his brother were immediately pushed into it. “Mom? What’s going on?”  
  
“Everything will be fine baby. Everything will be fine,” she repeated, like she was trying to reassure herself as well. “Just promise me something baby. Promise me you’ll take care of Kei?”  
  
“…Mom?” Akiteru could feel his own panic rising, confusion and fear of the unknown swirling through his nerves and thoughts. “Mom—”  
  
“Promise me!”  
  
“I-I promise…”  
  
“And remember these numbers. 518916. Can you remember them?”  
  
“Yes…”  
  
“You can, alright? Don’t forget them. Promise me?” she whispered, and silently, he nodded. She moved to kiss Kei’s head, then his, retracting so her hands could cup his cheeks.  
  
“Mom… I’m scared. What’s going on?”  
  
“Don’t worry baby,” she whispered. “I love you, okay? Daddy does too.”  
  
“Are you leaving us…?”  
  
“Never baby,” his mother replied, her previously panicked eyes now dimmed to something calmer, almost placating. “Stay put okay? Don’t come out. Be quiet.” She swallowed, the tears sliding down her cheeks glistening against her face. The sounds of footsteps, heavy, daunting, battered against the hardwood floors, unknown voices talking amongst themselves, calling out his mother’s and father’s names. “I love you…”  
  
Her tearful, solemn, watery smile was the last thing both he and Kei saw, before the cupboard door was slammed shut, and they were plunged into darkness.  
  
The yelling outside continued on, his mother’s voice barely detectable in the fray of commotion, Akiteru’s breaths coming in and out in small bouts of panic. It all stopped at the sound of one, loud, ear splitting bang that had Akiteru cover his ears, and caused Kei to start whimpering. Something dropped to the floor with a dull thud, and after that, the foot pounding resumed their chaos. The older blond made out the clear, gruff, booming voice of one of the invaders, and it had caused him to flinch, his heart pounding an abnormally fast rhythm.  
  
_“Find the kids.”_  
  
Kei’s whimpering became louder, cadence increasing into frightened sobs, and Akiteru had to use his hand to press against the younger’s mouth, his other hand against his own face in case he made any detectable sounds as well.  
  
Footsteps beat against the stairs above them, and another pair was heard right outside the cupboard, slowing as it prowled the area beside the stairwell. A flash of light passed underneath the tiny crack at the base, and he did all he could to hold his breath, waiting, waiting, and waiting for the footsteps to recede and walk away. His hand pressed even tighter against Kei’s mouth and nose.  
  
A minute after, the nameless footsteps finally retreated, the voice joining another voice, then another, then another. Feet pounding against the stairs could be heard heading downwards, and subsequently following the next five minutes, the house was once more silent.  
  
When Akiteru had finally escaped the suffocating darkness of the small cupboard, the lights were still out, but the moon still shone from the window, blinds torn by what he guessed was a knife. The faint light feebly illuminated the floors of the sitting room, casting itself over the damage and ruckus left behind by the invaders. Dark, amber eyes viewed over everything, landing finally on the wet, coppery, liquid left behind on the floor.  
  
There was nobody present, their mother gone, their father never returning, leaving the two Tsukishima brothers alone to deal with the scars of whatever had happened, in that cold, cold night.

* * *

_Silence._  
  
_He was in total silence._  
  
_An eternal, unending abyss of undying quietness that was nerve-wracking, and soothing in itself. If he closed his eyes, and let himself sink into the void, he would feel his soul float, fantasy detaching from reality, and everything relative to a dream fading away until—_  
  
“Aki-nii!!!!”  
  
The irregular thumping of small feet against the bed interrupted the older one’s dreams, forcing his presence out of his head and back into reality. The light emanating from beyond the closed up curtains indicated it was already morning. He could have sworn he’d just gone to bed a minute ago.  
  
“Niichan.” The light, whiny voice reached his ears once more. And he could feel the distance between him and the other close as the mattress tipped from the spot beside his body. Akiteru closed his eyes and kept his face buried underneath the covers. “Wake up! You promised!”  
  
Small hands pulled at the covers, revealing his face and upper body to the rays of the morning sun streaming in. He sighed inwardly, opening his eyes and facing the pouting, annoyed face of his younger brother.  
  
“Why, good morning to you too Kei.” He blinked slowly and offered him a smile, not surprised when his expression did not shift to something more pleasant. “What’s got your boots in a bunch?”  
  
Without saying a word, Kei’s hands reached for Akiteru’s phone, swiped and tapped against the screen, before shoving it right into his still, tired face. The image of people riding a rollercoaster in an amusement park came into view, reminding him of the promise he’d made the previous week to Kei after he had helped him do the dishes. Sighing heavily, he let out an “oh, that” before he proceeded to rise up, stretching and taking satisfaction from the sound release of the joints from his back.  
  
The time on his cell read 7:25, an hour and five minutes before the park would be officially opened. “Alright.” His hand went to ruffle the eight-year old’s curly blonde hair as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. “Let’s get ready okay?”  
  
“Yes!” Kei nodded, suddenly excited again. He hopped off the bed, socked feet reaching the rug covered floor of his room, and then ran ahead of him. “I made breakfast.”  
  
“You did?” He raised an eyebrow at the younger, peering over at the dining/living room table and spotting the two bowls of cereal, a jug of milk from the fridge in front of it. His breaths came out as a light chuckle. “Thanks Kei. Now I don’t have to make breakfast.”  
  
The younger brother nodded, expression sporting a reminiscing pout while he folded his arms. “But only because you keep on burning the toast.” Akiteru made the next head ruffle slightly rougher than before as he donned a wide not-so-offended smile and teased him.  
  
“Hey now, it’s not easy doing all the work here and maintaining college prep scores in high school.” He then released the lighter blonde’s hair. “Maybe you’d like to do all the chores? Wash the bathroom? Sweep the floors…?”  
  
“Niichan the food’s getting cold.”  
  
“Cereal doesn’t get cold Kei.” He said, Kei plopping down on the seat while Akiteru went over to the cupboards above the sink. “You want some sugar?” He didn’t have to look back to view the other’s nod, his hand already motioning to collect their jar of granulated sugar.  
  
There weren’t many things in the small cupboard, and it was easy to find the transparent jar with a sticker of a yellow Tyrannosaurus rex on the front, its teeth colored purple by a four year old Kei. The sugar in it was minimal, only enough for one person, and if there were some left, he’d have to give it to the younger because of his over abundant sweet tooth. It was fine, Akiteru needed to lose weight anyway.  
  
He went back to the seat, poured the sugar into Kei’s bowl, and helped pour in some milk into both their bowls of cereal. A silent ‘Itadakimasu’ was muttered, before they decided to dig in to their meal.  
  
It wasn’t just their sugar that was minimal in amount, he observed. A lot of their stock were already diminishing, their food, cleaning materials, and then Kei needed a new bag since his old one was already turning a peculiar shade of green. He didn’t really need to worry, since all he had to do was contact their legal guardian, Aunt Ayame, since she was after all in charge of making sure he and Kei didn’t starve to death under her ‘care’.  
  
The only thing he worried about was whether or not she would need to come over.  
  
Ayame Tsukishima was his father’s distant sister, a relative of his that his late parents had for some reason, chosen to take care of he and Kei if something were to happen to them. After the day of their parent’s disappearance, the lady had entered the decimated house, business suit and all, and an ever present resting-bitch-face slapped onto her expression. She’d said and done nothing to console the frightened children, only ushering them into her car, and driving them to her expensively built house.  
  
Yes, their aunt was rich, and had enough to provide for a small village, but her personality was borderline purely demonic. She hit children, and locked them in cramped cupboards whenever they annoyed her or whined too much, and she definitely wasn’t very generous with her money, barely taking care of them as is. His younger brother had been spared from the treatment of course, and in order to ensure he remained untouched by her sharp nails and wicked glares, he’d moved out of her house into his own apartment—it had been bought by her though, since he was just barely at the legal age.  
  
Ayame had been glad to have rid herself of having to take care of them, he could tell. But just so the authorities didn’t raise any questions, she made sure to send them money and things they could survive on. It was barely enough, which was why he had to work and exempt himself from his high school clubs and extracurricular activities. But then, since it was all for Kei, he didn’t mind. He’d promised his mom he would take care of him, after all.  
  
“Done!”  
  
The younger dropped his spoon into the now empty bowl and stood up, standing rather triumphantly before him like he was expecting a prize. Akiteru stared in surprised awe at how fast he’d managed to empty his plate.  
  
“That excited to go to the park huh?”  
  
“Uh-huh.” He nodded, then averted his gaze towards his older brother, his smile dropping to a grouch as his eyes fell on his still full bowl. “You’ve barely started! The park’ll open in a few minutes.” Kei whined, and Akiteru rolled his eyes, smiling at his impatience. Kids.  
  
Beside him, his phone buzzed with an incoming message, and when he went to reach for it, he saw it had come from Akira, one of his friends in the Karasuno volleyball club who’d gone on to a combined training camp with a school in Tokyo. The message was the picture of a selfie he’d taken with his teammates, the view of the Skytree behind them, their grins wide on their faces as they held up peace signs.

  
  
**From: Akira**  
**Subject: Training camp!!!**  
**Wish you could’ve been here with us!**

  
  
“Oh… is that the volleyball club?” Kei’s head suddenly popped up beside him, eyes gazing over the screen as he viewed the message. “Awesome! They got to see the Tokyo Skytree!”  
  
“Yeah…” He shut off the screen, focusing his attention on the youngest as a suggestion he’d been forming in his head came to light. “Would you like to play volleyball Kei?”  
  
“Heck yeah!” He said enthusiastically, beaming brightly. “I’d get to see the Tokyo Skytree in real life.”  
  
“And be part of a team.”  
  
“We’d probably climb Mount Fuji.”  
  
“And make friends…”  
  
The last part caused Kei to pause in his tracks, mouth partially open as he ceased the next sentence before it could be voiced out. He folded his arms, looked away, and pouted. Akiteru noticed he pouted a lot for an eight year old boy. Sighing, the older smiled at him, apologetic countenance causing his brows to furrow. “I understand you don’t like a lot of people Kei, but you gotta try it sometime.” As expected, his advice was ignored, and he released another breath, heavier this time, before he ensued standing up. “Hey, how about we go now. If we get there early, we could maybe get ourselves some cotton candy?”

It was just around 8:35, but the park was packed full.  
  
Several people lined up in front of numerous rides, photo booths and face-paint areas were full, shows and stage plays were being gathered in numbers. And he could sense the excitement buzzing off of his little brother as he took in everything. It wasn’t very often they got to go to the park, with how busy Akiteru always was, and the fact that they barely had money for the expensive tickets and rides. So this was a special thing for the both of them, and he couldn’t help feel the buzz of excitement as well.  
  
After re-counting the amount of money he had with him, he and Kei made their way to where Cotton candy was being distributed, and got themselves two huge, pink fluffs of cloudy sugar. “Okay, what do you want to do next?” The park was full of activities and rides he was sure the younger would want to indulge in, and the way the smaller blonde’s head perked up whenever he heard the excited screams of people on the rides told him of how much he wanted to be a part of it. So when he’d said “face-painting”, he was a tad surprised.  
  
“Face-painting?” He cocked up an eyebrow, his eyes averting towards the stand where a little girl was getting petals drawn onto her cheeks. Kei nodded.  
  
“Yeah. I wanna get a really cool one of a dinosaur.” He said, looking up at his older brother with those huge eyes of his. “Can I?”  
  
_How does he think I could say no when he looks at me that way?_ “Sure Kei.” He ruffled his head, smiling partially when his hand was later swatted away. “Just make sure you keep in touch if you get lost.” Akiteru instructed, and pointed at the walkie-talkie he’d kept stashed in his backpack. Kei bobbed his head, holding out his own to him.  
  
After he’d given him an affirmative thumbs-up, he watched the lanky, shorter—although tall for his age—Tsukishima run off, dodging groups and pairs of people towards the direction of the face-paint booth. He sat in place of the girl who’d just finished her own session, and waved at the face-paint lady who offered him back a smile.  
  
Sighing contentedly, certain that Kei would be fine on his own, he’d walked towards the stage play going on not too far from the booth, sitting down beside a guy wearing a denim jacket and a plain black shirt beneath it. The guy had a nicely cut beard, unassuming look in his eyes as he peered down at his phone, looking partly uninterested in the play and his environment around him. It didn’t stop Akiteru from trying to strike a conversation though.  
  
“So… what’s the play about?” He’d tried for his nicest smile and his friendliest look, and all he’d been replied with was an impassive side-glance and then silence as he was blatantly ignored. _Ouch. Talk about bad reception._  
  
On the stage, the main actress had begun a song about finding her destiny that sounded kind of like a rendition of ‘Let it go’, and what he guessed was a prince was lying on the floor behind her, his hand on his chest in a dramatic death pose. He tried to recall the scene from any Disney movie he’d ever watched, and only managed to further confuse himself. Maybe it was self-made?  
  
“Hey,” He tried again, leaning to his left so his voice could be better heard above the singing. “This is an original production right?”  
  
The only response he’d managed to receive was an agitated glare and a wordless warning to keep to himself and shut up. Akiteru did just that, leaning back to his original position and tapping his fingers against his bag. Maybe the guy was having an off day? _But in an amusement park?_  
  
The sound of something crackling reached his ears, emanating from within his bag. _“Niichan.”_  
  
The walkie-talkie crackled again, and when Akiteru went to reach for it, he heard the voice of his brother emit from the speakers once more. “Kei? What? What is it? Are you lost?”  
  
“No, Akiteru.” He could basically hear the eye roll in his reply at his own frantic worrying. Sue him for being a little protective. “_Just telling you that I’m at the slides now. You worry too much._”  
  
Akiteru could feel a smile curl his lips upwards. “I can’t help it if I care too much about you little brother.” After Kei had let out a breath of exasperation on the other line, he’d told him a “later niichan” before it was quiet yet again. He put down the communication device a moment later, and paid attention to the play before him, watching with mild amusement when a joker had come on to the stage and started causing mischief.  
  
Fifteen minutes into the play, and two short songs later, Kei called to inform him of his next position. “_At the water fountain._”  
  
Akiteru had told him to be careful.  
  
Five minutes in, a little girl had come on stage and started singing sweetly about dreams. She had this pretty fairy dress on, with glitter on her cheeks and an adorable toothy grin that swayed the crowd. Akiteru looked to his side at the guy still peering at his phone, partly surprised when his eyes were off his phone screen and on the stage. Halfway into the chorus, the little child had started prancing around the stage, and he couldn’t help voice out his thoughts on how good her part was.  
  
“She sure is adorable.”  
  
He’d shot up his eyebrows when his seat neighbor had replied him with a “Yeah”, and then stood up and left. He wasn’t sure if he should’ve counted that as good or bad. He was an amicable guy, and he was popular enough in high school to have made lots of friends. He shouldn’t be concerned over one person’s inauspicious personality.  
  
Blowing out air from his nose, he leaned in and then watched the rest of the play. The fairy child and the formerly dead prince were now talking to one another about the princess, and was offering him three wishes. He was sure that sort of scenario with the limited amount of wishes only correlated to genies, and that the princes shoe laces were now untying themselves, but he chose to watch the play to the end. He’d gone so far into it already, and he was just about understanding the plot.  
  
There was no reason to leave then.  
  
The play ended fifteen minutes later in a clash of characters, and one big musical finale, after which they’d all bowed and said thank you to the audience. The actors were applauded, and after a while, people left their seats to partake in other park activities, or to go home, while very few left, some chatting amongst themselves, the rest looking down their phones.  
  
Akiteru had been part of the few that had left, his attention finally off the play and on to locate his brother.  
  
The last time he’d been contacted by him, he’d told him he was at the water fountain. And that had been over seventeen minutes ago.  
  
His eyes scanned the map pasted on one of the beams built around the wide grounds, searching for the location of the fountain. It was near the playground slides, where Kei had been before. He was certain he would be there, waiting.  
  
As he made his way through the park, dodging a few gathered people and booths and stands, his eyes skimmed over the area, landing finally on the location of the pearly white water fountain, surrounded by people taking pictures, and some others throwing coins into the water. A structure of a flock of doves had been built at the center, sprouting water out of their beaks.  
  
It was a beautiful piece, but he didn’t have time to appreciate it as he was focused solely on finding his brother. There were a few kids nearby, tall enough to be Kei’s height, but none of them possessed blonde hair. A man and a lady were talking together, laughing and throwing coins into the fountain, a little girl was leaning against the edge, peering at the coins at the bottom, a lady and her friends were taking selfies a close distance away, a large German shepherd passed by his feet, someone had dropped their ice cream into the water. But none of those things were blonde, short or had glasses.  
  
None of them were Kei.  
  
As soon as his eyes had landed on the black walkie-talkie left on the edge of the fountain, he felt his heart stop.  
  
_Okay, okay, don’t panic._ Maybe Kei had gone back to the slides and forgot to take it with him. He didn’t need to panic. He didn’t need to fret.  
  
Akiteru breathed deeply, trying to calm himself and moved to collect the thick, black device perched on top of the white ceramic. The thing looked basically untouched and unscratched, his brother’s name scribbled on top of it with light green marker, a Pokémon ball sticker on the side. It was definitely his.  
  
He went back to the slides at the playground, searched the children crawling in and out of the slide tunnels, checked their hair, and faces, checked for a light blue sweater with a symbol of the moon on the back, checked for a familiar wide grin and short golden locks.  
  
“Kei?” he yelled out, searching the area of the playground, eyes glancing to and fro as little kids slid and climbed the play structure. “Kei!” Eventually, after too many minutes of looking at the faces of the happy, beaming children, and failing to find his little brother amongst them, he went to the next stop on the map.  
  
And the next.  
  
And the next.  
  
And the next.  
  
Till he was sweating from the heat of the sun, from the exertion of his lungs and legs as he ran back and forth between stands and booths and rides and people. Faces turned to him as he frantically searched, concern vivid as they asked him what the matter was.  
  
_Who was he looking for? _  
  
_What’s his name?_  
  
_Was he looking for a sibling? _  
  
_There’s a security office over there._  
  
_Sir, you need to calm down._

  
  
  
  
Oh God.

  
  
Oh God.

  
  
He’d lost Kei.

  
  
“Kei!”

  
  
He’d lost Kei.

  
  
“Keeiiii!!!”

  
  
_What’s the matter son?_

  
  
_You lost a child?_

  
  
“Oh God… I’m looking for a kid. Yes.”

  
  
_What’s he look like?_

  
  
“He’s eight. Tall for his age, and lanky. Blond hair, curly at the edges. He’s wearing glasses. Please, help me find him.”

  
  
_Sir?!_  
  
_Excuse me, Oniisan!!!_

  
  
In his frantic panic, he’d managed to feel a tug on his shirt, rapid, uncoordinated. As he looked down, he was met with the sight of a small, frightened kid, tears in his wide, grey eyes, coupled with snot running down his freckled face. It was a sorry sight, but at that moment, as much as he feared it would pain him in the future, he couldn’t have cared less about another kid’s problems.  
  
However, just as he was about to chase him off, he’d said something worth pausing for.  
  
“Please, you have to help!” He cried out, voice loud and words almost incoherent in his sobs. “It’s my… f-friend! His name is Kei! He-He—”

  
  
_Kei?_

  
“He was helping me ch-chase some bullies away… a-and we were together. But then… th-this guy took him!”  
  
He felt his heart drop into his stomach. “…Guy?” He swallowed, previous fear giving way to an even greater one, greater than his heart could bear. “What…”  
  
“Follow me!” He pulled on his shirt sleeve, and he did his best not to yell at him to run faster, hurry up, his brother was in danger. His little brother was in—  
  
“AKI-NII!!!”  
  
Pausing in his tracks, he found himself a few feet away from a car park, lines of vehicles positioned beside each other. His eyes swerved from one point to another, searching, searching. He’d heard his voice before—  
  
“NIICHAN!!! HELP!”

  
  
_There._

  
  
Several cars away, a man in sun glasses, wearing a familiar looking denim jacket with a black tee underneath, was dragging a little struggling kid away.

  
  
** _“So… what’s the play about?”_ **

  
  
It was him. The guy at the play.

  
  
_ **“I’m at the fountain.”** _

  
  
No wonder he’d gotten up not too long after Kei had revealed his location. Akiteru wouldn’t have even suspected a thing. No one would have suspected…  
  
“KEI!!!” Akiteru screamed, his legs taking off as soon as he’d spotted them heading in the direction of a lone, black car parked haphazardly by a tree. One of the backseat doors was opened, and it looked like there was someone else inside the vehicle. He’d left the freckled boy behind, hoping the kid was smart enough to call for some help, maybe the authorities.  
  
His legs burned as he struggled to close the distance between him and Kei’s abductors, eyes locked dead-on onto his frightened amber orbs, his heart racing and increasing in rhythm and pace as he raced against the odds of him reaching them before they would have already taken off.  
  
His panicked voice called for his niichan once more, until Denim jacket decided to quieten his cries with his hand pressed roughly against his face, mouth and nose covered by harsh, unforgiving palms. They were already too close to their car.

  
  
He wasn’t going to make it.

  
  
_Come on legs, move._

  
  
_Move faster._

  
  
_Please…_

  
  
Kei was shoved into the backseat before he could cross the line of cars separating them, the door was shut, and Denim jacket was already sliding into his seat and starting the engine.

  
  
_No._

  
  
“No!!!” Adrenaline kicked in, his heart picking up even faster speeds as the distance between him and the black BMW closed. But by that time, the driver’s door had already closed shut as well, and the wheels were already moving. “No! Kei!!!” He neared the car, gripping the rails on the roof of the car and banging on the vehicle’s window, dread setting in as it begun to increase its acceleration. “Let him go!!!”  
  
The window was slightly tinted, and he couldn’t tell what was going on within the confines of the car, but as he heard a bang, then another hit against the thick glass, he could tell his younger brother was struggling against them. _That’s right Kei. Don’t make it easy._  
  
But eventually the car’s speed was too much to handle, and Akiteru ended up having to let go, his heart heavy and in anguish as the kickback caused him to roll to the floor, unable to do anything against the speed of the vehicle, speeding away too fast, too far, with the only thing he cared about trapped within its confines.


	2. Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Present, past_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, the story takes place in three timelines, so this chapter may be mellow in comparison to the first. Slight mentions of blood.

**PRESENT**

Akiteru stared longingly at the framed photograph perched on the wall in the sitting room of his two-bedroom apartment. The glint of the just rising sun reflected against the glass surface separating his fingers from the old picture, bright light hitting the smile of his younger brother at just the perfect angle so that it hadn’t blocked him from viewing the sunny, excited beam on his face.

The photo was from ten years ago, when Kei had gotten his first ever pair of glasses, the date indicating the day was the younger’s first time going to school. He remembered how happy and excited he was, carrying his dinosaur themed backpack, and smiling brightly at the camera.

He missed that.

_Time sure does fly huh…?_

The sound of a door opening and shutting behind him echoed faintly through the thin walls of the apartment, and soon enough, light footsteps followed, stopping fully once the pair had paused behind him. A short sigh escaped their lips.

“Akiteru-nii.”

“Oh, Kei! You’re up.” He whirled around, taking his gaze and attention off the photo, and fixing it on the other Tsukishima present in the room. He was taller than him now.

“Of course I’m up.” The light blond rolled his eyes, looking uninterestingly outside the window. “I have to get to school.”

Akiteru glanced swiftly at the digital clock on the shelf, eyes widened slightly when he saw the time. “Oh, right.” He smiled apologetically. “You’ve taken breakfast?”

Kei let out a small, but audible hum, and then nodded while turning away, saying nothing else except an “I’m heading out now.”

The older watched him leave, a little “Yeah! See you later,” leaving his lips, silence reaching him except the shut of the door as the other walked outside, and headed for his first day of high school.

Akiteru remembered a time he’d take a photo of Kei every year he moved up from one class to the next, storing the memories and documenting them for when next he needed to reminisce. He also remembered how they’d eat breakfast together, and he’d scrunch his nose at the slightly undercooked food—although he’d gotten better—and the younger would promise to make the next one out of pity for his own stomach. Akiteru would laugh and ruffle his hair, and Kei would laugh too.

They’d stopped doing that a few years back though, and Akiteru could barely remember what those moments felt like most of the time.

Sighing and picking up his keys, he proceeded to head out as well, deciding to go early to work on the first week of the month. The radio played a boring tune in the small space of his car, and soon enough, his mind was drifting off into his thoughts on the drive.

* * *

The first time Kei had brought back people from school, Akiteru had been surprised.

Usually, he never got well along with others in the first place, and it had only gotten worse since after the… _incident_—but he was trying, it seemed. It at least made him happy to see he was.

On arriving home, the entrance had been lined with different pairs of shoes, each of different sizes, colors and methods of arrangement, although the effort to keep it neat had been made clear. He’d imagined his little brother looking displeasingly at the perpetrator as he told them to keep their shoes in order, the way his eyebrows would twitch, and his eyes would slightly narrow. It brought a grin to his lips.

“I’m home!” he announced stridently as he opened the door, taking his time to dislodge his shoes before slipping into the provided slippers at the side of the entrance. He could hear—not too far away since his brother’s room wasn’t that far from the living room—a gentle stringent of voices coming from down the hall, most of it sounding animated, and then the familiar, disgruntled voice belonging to the younger, snarkier Tsukishima.

As expected, no one came to see him at the front door—which was Kei’s mistake, because that meant Akiteru could barge into his room unannounced.

The look on his face had been priceless.

“Oh…! A study session? How diligent!” He’d grinned down at them from the door as he slid it open without warning, leaning against the frame and looking not-very-apologetic at the high schoolers on the ground, surrounded by several open books and sheets of paper. A ginger, a brunet and female blonde—new faces—all looked up at him with various degrees of confusion and mild surprise. Akiteru didn’t need to look at Kei to know the very obvious disdain lathered onto his usual irked glare.

At the very least, Yamaguchi had been glad to see him.

“Akiteru-kun!” The freckled teen had grinned at him, his pearly whites bright and ever so warm, eyes crinkled genuinely as he peered over from where he sat beside Kei.

“Hello Tadashi-kun.” He waved back, ignoring the other Tsukishima’s eye roll in favor of revealing the packages he’d been hiding behind his back. He took note of how the ginger’s eyes seemed to light up in curiosity. “I wasn’t expecting this much company. But… it’s a good thing I bought extra.”

Kei looked skeptical, eyeing the bags like he was inspecting them for some sort of trap. In a way, it was. “What’s that?” Akiteru couldn’t help rolling his eyes in reply. His brother could be so cynical.

“You’re favorite.” He smirked playfully, dropping the packages on the floor beside him and stepping a foot back. He took note of how his brother’s gaze never once veered towards the package, amber orbs trained solely on him as he continued to back away. Akiteru had to withhold his laughter. It was obvious he was waiting for his older brother to leave before he could catch him drooling over the strawberry desserts stuffed into the packs.

As the door slid shut behind him, he could imagine him leaning in closer to peep into it. His brother had always had a problem projecting his self-indulgent tendencies, so he’d probably try to restrain himself from touching them for as long as other people were there. Yamaguchi would be the one to break the ice, snatching the package from his sight and distributing the rest to his friends while knowingly urging _Tsukki_ to have some. And his younger brother would concede, because Akiteru knew he wouldn’t be able to resist.

He walked away with a smile on his face, letting the muffled sounds of Yamaguchi’s amusement filter inaudibly through the hall.

Half an hour later, Kei’s room door slid open, and quick steps were soon racing down the hall, someone behind reprimanding owner of said steps with distasteful insults and equal doses of half-hearted threats.

Akiteru had been at the kotatsu in the living room, reading through and sorting some documents and files related to his work, pen tapping dutifully against the table, laptop open in front of him while the dull drone of the TV news played in the background. Thoughts of Kei and his new friends had barely dissipated from his mind as his brain focused on the files before him. But the unexpected noise had forced him out of his work trance, compelling him to look up at the departing students each making their way through the living room.

The ginger head, an excitable, high-strung ball of energy, had left with the brightest of grins, thanking him for the food before yelling out an introduction, and then proceeded to yell some more about how psyched up he was for a test tomorrow—most likely what they’d been studying for—although he’d guessed. The dark haired male followed, steps and motions awkward as he said goodnight and left, the blonde haired girl, _“Yachi Hitoka…”_ wasn’t too far off, apologizing for the first two’s raucous behavior with an array of head bows and promises not to disturb the peace when next they came back.

_‘When next they came back’_ echoed through his head throughout the night. And when he opted to tease his younger brother about inviting them over for dinner, he was gruffly shoved aside and given an angry, embarrassed glare, losing him to the solitude of his room and remaining there for the rest of the night.

Akiteru as usual, stayed awake, the sweet croons of sleep long gone from his mind as he worked in the living room through the night like a posted sentry.

The drawls of the nighttime news carried on, forever a haze in the back of his perception.

**PAST**

Silence.

Silence surrounded him, its compressing presence like a strangling vine around his throat. The wooden floorboards stained with blood—so much blood—_too much blood_—reflected nothing but a dark emptiness in its dreadful depravity. Akiteru could feel his former panic exacerbate into something else, his breaths quickening and shortening the more he looked around himself. His mother… where was she?

The house was full of holes, holes that hadn’t been there—weren’t supposed to be there—their curtains slashed, family pictures and TV broken, marks on the floor, on the chairs... on… on…

On their mother’s bag was on the floor.

Akiteru felt something pierce through his chest, and he’d never felt a dagger before, but the pain that spiraled from his heart overwhelmed his body, and soon he found himself running, his legs carrying him to every and all corners of the house, his breath hitching in his panicked yells.

“Mom?!” He checked the kitchen, and he tried his best to ignore the broken plates and cupboards and cutlery, the scuff marks on the floor, the blood on the sink. “MOM?!” He checked his parent’s room, and he tried his _damnest_ to ignore the upturned bed, the holes on their curtain, their clothes on the floor, the mess of their bathroom. “_MOOOM??!!!_”

He checked every single inch of the house, checked every last place once and twice, and he tried his hardest to ignore every single sign of his diminishing hope, of his crushing heart, of his crying brother. He tried his best, and he failed.

His mother wasn’t there.

_She **wasn’t** there_.

“Help!” he screamed as he realized his disposition, racing towards the door and struggling to open it, only to find it locked. “Someone please… help…! They… they took my mom!” He tried the door to the back, but it was sealed shut as well, and the windows were broken and dangerous to try climbing through. The neighborhood was serendipitously quiet, not a soul present at that particular hour except for them. They had no means of calling for help. The landlines wouldn’t work, there was no electricity.

Tears clouded his vision as realization _heavily_ dawned on him, and streams of it fell down his cheeks. _His mom left him… she said she wasn’t…_

_She said_—

“Niichan!”

Akiteru jumped as his brother’s distressed voice carried through the house, and he could not control the feverish pounding of his heart as his socked feet skidded against the floor in a bid to rush to his brother. The older Tsukishima raced like his life depended on nothing but getting to his brother, his chest tightening with the fear that came along with deplorable thoughts of worst case scenarios. He just lost his mom… he wouldn’t lose his brother too.

By the time he’d gotten back to the living room, his breath hitched as he stared up at the new stranger in the room, standing in front of the door while his little brother, a distance away from the person, stayed backed against the wall on the floor, fear radiating from his scared features. As soon as Akiteru had walked into the scene, Kei ran up to him, holding his pajama pants tightly while he hid behind him, away from the piercing eyes of the stranger.

It was a woman, her dark, auburn hair up in a loose bun, cold eyes that resembled his father’s rested behind sharp, stark glasses, and lips distorted in a disgusted grimace as her gaze swept over the room, worsening as they fell into her line of view. She reminded him of one of the witches in his brother’s bedtime stories. He instantly decided: He did not like her.

“Wh-who are you?” His voice shook with unease, and he couldn’t fight the instinctive flinch as her cold gaze landed on the both of them.

“So…” The lady eyed them both with degrading scrutiny behind her spotless lenses. “You’re the ones…?” She inquired, hands behind her back, calculative stare unsettling him piece by piece. “Akiteru and… the little one?”

He hesitated, but managed a reluctant nod, not at all trusting the lady that happened to oh so randomly walk into their house all of a sudden. For all he knew, she might have been with the people that took… that took his _mom_ away.

“Come with me, then.” The command was clear, curt and direct, and it sounded like it was not to be questioned. But Akiteru was wary, and it should have been obvious in the clear signs of hesitation in his steps, because soon the lady was sighing, exasperated and mostly, _especially_ annoyed. She took her hands from behind her back, one reaching into her purse to pull out what seemed like a cloth. “I’m your father’s sister. Call me Aunt Ayame,” she began, unhesitant. “Not surprised I was never mentioned… but I was sent here by your parents to collect you at exactly this time tonight, and I don’t wish to spend even more time here in this filth…” Her eyes roamed once more, filled with bounties of revulsion as she stared over at the blood-stained floor. “How vile…” The last part was muttered, and suddenly, his vision was soon enveloped in white, accompanied with the feeling of soft, clean fabric. She’d thrown the cloth at him.

“Clean yourselves up,” Aunt Ayame ordered sharply and Kei flinched at her blunt, deterring tone, disappearing further behind Akiteru as her stare lingered on the both of them. Akiteru had to stop himself from yelling at her to at least pretend to act a little bit nice. She was scaring Kei, and consequentially, him. “I don’t want you staining my car.”

Car? The older blonde’s annoyed thoughts gradually dissipated at the utterance of her next sentence, his brow disappearing into his bangs as he stared confusedly at the woman. “W-where… where are we…?” If she had a car, that meant she was driving them very far away. The thought made him nervous.

But their aunt was either oblivious, or didn’t seem to care, because all she’d replied was: “My house” and that seemed like the only answer he’d be getting for the night, because soon she was walking out the door, silver heels clacking rhythmically against the floorboards. Akiteru had moved to follow her, but sooner stopped at a significant tug on his shirt. Turning, he stared into the smaller one’s tear filled eyes, and took note of his little brother’s frightened face, lips unmoving and overall silent, but gaze displaying all the emotions he ever needed to know. He took notice of his fright, the tremble of his hands, and he tried his best for a reassuring smile. It was the only thing he could give.

“It’ll be alright Kei…” he whispered, putting a hand atop his soft, blond head, and trying _really_, really hard not to cry at his helplessness.

“B-but mommy…” However, Kei’s voice was but a whimper, and before he could catch himself crying, he’d buried his brother’s face against his shoulder, ducking down to envelope him in the most heartbroken hug he’d ever given to a soul in his life. Small trickles of fresh tears slid down the sides of his face while he kept Kei’s eyes buried into the crook between his neck and shoulder, his hands gripping his brother tightly, closely.

“It’s alright… It’ll be okay,” he whispered, and deep down, he wondered who exactly he was trying to comfort. “I’ll be here…” _I’m not leaving_. Their mother was gone, but he’d be there.

“I’ll always be here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter synopsis: 
> 
> (Present)- The brothers are doing fine and Kei is alive and well. They meet Yachi earlier on than in the series, and the first years have already met and made friends.  
(Past)- We track back to the continuation of the night their parents disappeared, and the introduction of their new gaurdian, aunt Ayame.
> 
> You're welcome to check out my blog  
[@fanfictionbystar](https://fanfictionbystar.tumblr.com/)  
where I post fanfiction content, WIP moodboards, anime memes and excerpts of my future chapters.  
See ya next week!


	3. During

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Concurrent_
> 
> TW manhandling and physical abuse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter continues from where we stopped in chapter one. Kei's POV.

Kei was scared.

His voice was hoarse and dry. Empty. The hand pressed against his face suffocating, his panicked tears cold and wretched as they escaped his fear filled eyes.

Niichan. He wanted his nii-chan.

The men laughed as they started the engines, the rumble underneath the car like tumultuous earthquakes in his skin, quaking his heart. His struggle was a reckoned combat, but futile and useless. He felt his fears amplify as the car began its drive towards the exit of the parking lot, the driver’s movements reckless and messy. His hands uselessly scratched against the unforgiving palms pressed against his face and body. He was scared.

_He was so scared_…

The last thing he saw of his brother was his frightened face, and dread distorting his features as the car drove off.

A sob escaped his mouth, but was instantly muffled by the man restraining him.

“Ey… can’t believe we pulled this shit off” the guy at the front said, swerving as he recklessly dodged cars and people like a maniac on high, swiftly escaping the grounds of the amusement park. The guy holding him scoffed, his sneer as ugly as his apparent personality.

“Whatever. Just pass me the fucking tape.” Kei flinched as the man’s hold squeezed, cruel and callous and ever so merciless. Louder cries escaped him, and the man violently shook him to keep him quiet. “Oi, shut up ya little brat.” He warned, a nasty look on his face as the man in front threw a roll of tape to the back. It hit him on the head. It hurt, but they didn’t seem to care.

When the guy in a jacket removed his hand from his mouth, Kei’s crying became audibly louder, and he managed to free one hand from the guys arm. His fingers reached uselessly for the door handle, but they pulled him back.

“_No! No! Lemme go!_” he cried, succeeding in freeing his other arm and kicking at the man’s face as he’d momentarily let his guard down. Only a mere instant of triumph overwhelmed the moment as he barely released himself from the guy’s crushing grip and got to the door, his hands gripping at the door handle for a moment, the action of unlocking the car door already in motion. One more second. He’d needed just one more second.

But unrelenting hands grabbed at him again, the force bruising as they clutched at his waist and pulled him back _back back_.

He sobbed again as the same bruising hands grabbed at his thin wrists and held them together, abrasive and aching even without the presence of his struggles.

“Fucking brat…” the jacket guy swore, shaking him viciously while the rapid, searing sounds of unwound tape tore through the chaos in the car. “I swear if you do that again—”

“Careful Ham,” the driver at front said, cutting off his partner mid threat. His voice was in no way calming or alleviating, and his beard was scary—by Kei’s standards—but it seemed to decrease the tension residing in the jacket man’s shoulders somewhat. “He’s jus a kid… ‘sides, Boss-man wants him alive…”

The jacket man—_Ham_—merely clicked his tongue, refusing to lessen his grip and in fact holding him tighter as he wrapped the sticky material around his wrists. “Didn’t say I couldn’t do shit to him,” he muttered, wrapping his wrists at least five more times before letting him go.

The tape was worse than the man’s hands, uncomfortable and hurting and _awful_ and he wanted them off. “I-It hurts…” he sniffed, then released a pained cry when the discomfort did not yield, more tears staining his cheeks and bringing absolutely no sympathy from the man. Ham did nothing, showed nothing, and only stuffed the tape roll into his jacket’s pocket. Kei continued to squirm.

“P-please sir… I…” His sentence broke off into more cries, brought on by the aches he felt travelling up his arms. _It hurts. It hurts._ “I wanna go _home_…”_ He wants his niichan. Where’s Akiteru? He said he would protect him. He **promised**_.

The car swerved and his head was brought colliding against the door, inertia pulling him back as the car moved in the opposite direction. He felt gravity overtake his senses as the vehicle went down a hill and rounded a lane towards a bridge. They were heading far—very far away—from the amusement park. Considerable darkness cloaked the light in the car, and the only thing he could see clearly were the red headlights up above, eerie and dim and lighting up absolutely nothing apart from the cracking concrete above. Kei later went silent once he found his cries were getting him no response.

Light erupted from the end of the irately long tunnel, and he’d barely missed the whoosh of the car whizzing past the runaway vehicle.

Cars.

There were other cars…!

He… _he could call for help!_

Biting his lips nervously, he quietly peered over at Ham, who was busy trying to light himself a cigarette. He shifted slightly, silently, careful not to make his movements obvious. _Just be silent Kei_. Don’t make a sound. _Don’t make a sound_. The little blond shifted towards the car door, inching closer and closer in the direction of the window. Another car whizzed by.

“HELP!” he screamed, banging his shoulder against the window. The car swerved in surprise at his sudden actions. “HELP ME PLEASE! SOMEBODY… _SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!_” He continually banged several parts of his body against the door and window, his shoulder, his elbow, his foot. The bearded driver at the front was cussing out loud, and he’d only managed to spot the surprised gaze of a passerby in a convertible look up at his window before he was pulled backwards.

And right into a slap.

“Damnit!” Ham began his yelling, getting out the roll of tape while he held Kei down again. His anger was the epitome of rage itself. “_Dammit, Dammit, DAMMIT!_”

The driver exhaled angrily, his grip on the wheel tightening, annoyed. “Fucking hell…”

“Frickin’ brat…” The jacketed male restraining the now crying blond cursed, his glare frustrated as he stared at him. Kei visibly shook, scared tears escaping him as the man’s grip transferred to his shirt’s collar, pulling him up and shaking him like he was trying to decide on murdering him now or later. “If we get caught I’ll make sure to kill him first. I don’t even give a fuck…”

“Shit… I think I see the cops.”

“Fuck.” Ham grit his teeth, looking back for a moment before redirecting his gaze and pulling out a long strip of tape. “I’ll take these out once we get to base,” he said, then began wrapping it around his head and over his mouth, just as tightly and as painfully as he did his wrists. He pulled him back up, but then ducked his head down below the windows afterwards. “And if I so much as hear a peep… you wouldn’t like what I’ll do to ya. _Ya hear me?!_”

Kei responded with a shaky nod, salty tears staining the dusted car seats underneath him.

From then, the driver’s movements were jerky and reckless, going at speeds beyond the limit and swerving like mad, his driving uncaring of who or what he ran over as he struggled to lose the trail the cops had on him.

“I think I know a safe spot.” The bearded man at front began, turning sharply as a quick corner cut the road.

“What?”

“It’s a blind spot beside the upcoming hill. Lead us straight to our next rendezvous.”

“Fucking great then,” Ham said sarcastically. “Taking us there or what?”

“We have a hitch though,” the driver replied, uncaring of his partner’s attitude towards the situation. “Most of the cops are diverging around that corner, so I’d have to go really fast or change cars before the stop. The latter is the most suitable option.” Kei’s breath hitched as the car bumped dangerously over rocky road. “We just have to get the kid to behave properly while we get it done.”

The man beside him aggressively clicked his tongue, motioning his finger to playfully pull at the collar of his shirt. “No problem… I can get the small blondie to work with us.” He squeezed his eyes shut when the man’s face inched closer, shaking and _shivering_ in unadulterated fear. “Right kiddo?”

Intending to placate the man’s anger, he nodded, relieved as the man leaned back up.

With his vision forcibly lowered to the back of the front seats, he was unable to see the action occurring outside the windows of the vehicle, but it took a heck of a long time before the car had slowed down any, and even by then, his heart rate had not calmed down at all.

“Thank fuck… it’s empty.” Ham sighed in some sort of relief, the car stopping completely and the sounds of car doors slamming open and shut louder than the silence surrounding them. Kei was picked up from the backseats, and lugged over broad, rough shoulders like a loaded potato sack. The temporary position was uncomfortable, and the shoulder blades compressed against his gut as they moved so it made it difficult to breathe.

The new car he was hurriedly thrown into smelt like over-roasted cinnamon and a bitter tinge of something he couldn’t identify. But it was a hundred times better than the previous car that stank like dust and cigarette and the back of the kitchen alley his brother worked in. Lots better. Ham and the slightly less aggressive driver hopped right in and started the engine as soon as the bearded man shoved something into the hole where the key was supposed to go. The car moved again, revving backwards then accelerating towards the exit of the parking lot.

Throughout the ride Kei was forced to duck below the window, and even when the ride was silent throughout, he did not fall asleep. Nor did he relax.

“Oi, Agro! We got something for ya.” The aggressive male yelled as he walked through the door, hauling a silent Kei over his shoulders while the driver walked behind him. They had now arrived at another building, the drive having taken over several hours, filled with restless dread and uncomfortable positions.

The building they’d arrived in was somewhere on the outskirts of Miyagi, the cool, near-salty wind blowing in their direction indicating they were close to a river of some kind. The structure upon sighting looked abandoned, with its run down, crusty walls and broken, boarded up windows. Even the door, a huge, thick, metallic thing was rustier than anything he’d seen before, like it had been put through all the trials of wind, rain and storm and barely persisted.

Upon entering inside, the building, despite it having barely any windows or working electricity, was _cold_ to the bone, and he felt himself shiver from the chills. They’d carried him through the atrociously long hallway, turning bends and crosses till they arrived through a door. The place was too dim for Kei to have properly seen anything, and with his restrained hands, there was no way he could adjust his askew glasses.

The man, _Agro_, could be heard walking towards them, footsteps sounding like heavy duty boots on the concrete floor. Kei couldn’t see him from behind Ham’s shoulder, but from the way he spoke, he could imagine someone with a terrifyingly scary expression.

“So… this is him, huh?” The man, even while speaking Japanese had a southern accent like in the American movies his brother loved to watch. Agro hummed as his footsteps continued, and stopped a few feet away, just as Kei was dropped to the ground on his behind, the landing rough and hard on his back. As he stared up at the man, he looked exactly the opposite as he’d thought. He looked almost… nice. He was good-looking, and he smiled at him as he crouched down.

But Kei didn’t trust him. They took him away from his brother, and they hurt him. And the slight grin he’d offered to the eight year old blond wasn’t cutting it for him either. Still soaked in overall fear, he flinched as he came near and felt someone’s legs block his path. Deliberately, he was kicked forward, almost toppling to the floor had the man’s hands not caught him by his shoulders.

“Whoa there… let’s be careful.” He chuckled brightly, righting his position, then looking downwards as he reached for something in his leather jacket. He fetched out a blade, and Kei was wary as he brought it near his face, closing his eyes the nearer the sharp knife got. The next thing he knew, he felt a long-needed relief as the tape wrapped tightly around his head had been cut off, the man’s hands gently prying off the rest till he could no longer feel the oppression against his speech. “That’s better, right?” The man asked gently, storing the blade back into his pocket and patting his head. Kei felt tears fill the corner of his eyes as he nodded.

“Good, good!” he cheered, then retracted his hand. “My name’s Angelo Ross, but my _friends_ call me Agro. What’s yours, little fella?”

Kei felt his mouth open, but quickly shut it closed, his easy terror instigating him to silence. His throat was dry as he swallowed and looked away, and he couldn’t fight the slight redness on his face when the man began to laugh.

“Don’t be shy now,” A gentle hand guided his face back forward, the grip tightening for a little bit before retracting. Looking back at the man, it seemed like with every second that passed, his smile kept on turning less and less kind-looking. “It’s okay. _I_ won’t hurt you…” He displayed his pearly whites as he grinned, and the bright, perfectness of his teeth was almost as intimidating as his presence. Kei smelt smoke coming from behind him, and he could guess it was from Ham.

“K…” His voice was near silent as he parted his lips, and he had to look away again as he spoke. “K-Kei…”

The man shined brighter at his response, bringing a hand to pat at his head again. “Good, good! That wasn’t so hard, was it now?” Kei would have liked to say yes, but he kept to himself for his own sake.

The man kept his hand on his head even when he was no longer ruffling it, and then spoke again, his speech lower in tone than prior, but his smile remaining the same. “Hey Kei, look over here for a sec…” The man urged his face forward once more, and he was found looking into the man’s _dull, lifeless eyes_. “Do you know what’s so special about fireflies?” He stilled as the man neared closer, their proximities closing quickly until their noses barely touched. In timid response, he shook his head ‘no’, and possibly enough, his grin widened.

“They shine brighter in the shadows.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter synopsis: We start with Kei's point of view from the scene at the parking lot, with him being kidnapped and then transported by two men to a hidden base as far away from home as possible. He tries to call for help but is reprimanded (read: threatened) into silence, before being dropped off with a man named Agro. 
> 
> Next chapter continues off from here.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Please don't forget to leave a kudos or comment if you liked it and want to see more, because words and constructive criticism fuel me and make me want to improve. Tysm to the ones who've already done so! You motivate me to keep on writing!
> 
> You're welcome to check out my blog  
[@fanfictionbystar](https://fanfictionbystar.tumblr.com/)  
where I post fanfiction content, WIP moodboards, anime memes and excerpts of my future chapters.  
See ya next week!


	4. Lingering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Concurrent, Present._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't supposed to take me this long to post, but you know how life is. Anywho, enjoy!

Kei hadn’t known the implications of the phrase leaving Agro’s lips, only seeing evil intent wafting from his bright grins and less than reassuring friendliness. His calloused hand gently grazed his cheek as he slid it away from his face, the motion smoothly transitioning into a swift rise as he stood up from his crouch and folded his arms loosely against his chest. He sent Kei nothing but a sharp look, before looking upwards, eyes traced on the people standing behind him.

“Good job gentlemen.” His voice echoed in the small room, menacing despite his amiable smile and relaxed pose. “Boss will be paying the both of you shortly.”

“Yeah, yeah… jus’ make sure we get paid in cash,” Ham sneered from the back of the room, pausing to release a puff of smoke into the stale air. His voice was as aggressive as ever, hostile and dangerous in every way. Kei still flinched whenever he spoke. “And pay us on time too! Don’t got no patience for that ‘two-days-interval’ bullshit. Ya hear?!”

Agro all but released a hum, his smile never wavering. “Of course… _Ham_. The Boss doesn’t usually take _likely_ to requests, but I’m sure he can make something work. Although, I like your tenacity. It is an admirable trait, isn’t that so?”

“Whatever you say,” he scoffed, tone still less than cooperative. “Just gimme my pay. Don’t wanna stand in this fuck dump for another minute.”

“Patience, Ham,” Agro retorted, indifferent to the other man’s vulgarity. “The Boss will pay in due time. Until then, how about a _deal_?” Ham’s brow raised in question, distrust slathered across his features as he scowled skeptically at the well suited male. A puff of smoke released into the air again.

“The hell does he want this time?”

“A simple request. Nothing much.” Agro shrugged leisurely, although Kei was sure he saw his arm motion slowly from behind his back, his elbows and shoulders slightly tensed. “Just your utmost loyalty, is all.” At his confused glower, Agro merely smiled, while the other just as slowly leaned away from the wall, his eyes following Agro’s movements, careful and observant. Before he could part his lips to release a sound, a deafening, sharp, earsplitting bang resonated through the room, and Kei found his bound hands automatically motion to cover his ears. He ended up tucking his head in between his folded legs, attempting block his eardrums from the thunderous noise the best he could.

With his ears slightly ringing, and with the heavy thud of something falling against the floor, a deafening silence settled over the room, taking root for just the period of a second.

_What just happened…? Did…_ Kei shakily lifted his head, tilting his gaze slightly behind to observe where the thud had come from. Only to find a pool of red on the floor, seeping from the lifeless body resting above it, the stench—_the familiar stench of blood and death and fear_—wafted deeply into his nose, and he found himself lurching forward, heaving up the contents of his stomach onto the cold, cement floor. _He… he was…_

“W-what the fuck…?! WHAT THE _FUCK?!_” Ham’s voice echoed from behind him, his voice, usually the embodiment of rage and hostility, was wavering, tone inching on borderline fear and deep trepidation. “What the hell…?!” He could hear his footsteps, deep, heavy, unstable as they neared close. His speech dithered. “You… you—”

“I’d advise you not to move, actually…” And Agro was the complete opposite, demeanor calm and relaxed. Ham’s footsteps haltered. “The driver was… a liability.”

“But he… he helped you get the kid!” he’d growled in reply. “He’s been loyal to you fucks ever since—”

“He’d been planning on selling us out,” Agro retorted. “Had his plans sorted and everything. His previous bank accounts were being shut down and transferred. And his movements indicated immediate defection. Your _partner_ might not have mentioned it, but he’d long since been planning to scam us,” he explained vividly, releasing a simple sigh as he dangled the gun friskily from his hands. “You’ve been with us for a long time… you know how the Boss is about traitors.” His motions with the gun stilled, voice deepening. “He’s very… _defensive_ about his resources.” At that, Ham’s silence was granted, his unmoving demeanor indicating his submission—although begrudging—to the situation at hand.

At that point, Kei’s body was shaking, head still ducked down, lightly spitting out the remains of the vomit from his mouth as he attempted to stop his voice from making any sounds. The stench of the blood was mixing in with the puddle of upheaved breakfast sitting between his knees, making his stomach roll. _It was coming closer… the blood… the blood_…

“Oh… now look what you did.” He heard Agro’s voice again, his tone swiftly transitioning back to his nice—_fake. It was fake_—demeanor as he crouched down. He felt pressure placed at the top of his head, seemingly kind, gentle. But Kei refused to look up. The puddle of vomit was disgusting, both in smell and sight, but it was appearing infinitely more attractive than the man before him was with every passing second. Unfortunately for him, Agro was not all that patient.

“Come now _Kei_,” he urged softly, his hand moving to his chin and edging it upwards. And Kei complied, visibly quivering. He was scared. “Aw… would you look at that,” Agro tut-tutted, reaching into his jacket with his other hand and withdrawing a handkerchief. It was clean and white, and smelt like the luxuries of expensive perfume, mixing in with the exacerbating rancid smells already permeating the air. The cloth touched his lips lightly. “You got a little something on your mouth there. Hold still, let me get it for you.”

His movements were gentle and tender, neither too slow nor too fast, his pace steady and light. But it didn’t avert his gaze away from the gun resting on his lap, nor did it veer his attention from the smell of death drifting over the room. When the man was done, he retracted his hand, ruffled his hair, smiled. But Kei didn’t stop shaking. _He was **scared**_.

He wanted his nii-san.

_He wanted to go home. He wanted to go home. He wanted to go home._

He hadn’t even registered his hands being released from the tight duct tapes, hadn’t registered someone picking him up by wrist and gently nudging him forward. His feet had just moved.

And the hand had just lingered.

**PRESENT**

The chatters of his peers flew over his head as the bell for break sounded, putting an end to their lessons, and adding another heap to their already piled up homework. Like it was their fault the teachers were unable to finish up their lesson plans for the week. Kei was silent as he settled by the window, headphones positioned leisurely over his head and the assembled playlist from his phone floating through the speakers. Effectively, background noise and conversations were cut out, and all that remained was him and his music. It was calm, insouciant beats and tunes drifting through his head space, taking him away from the present and into where the soul of his mind existed. Away from everything.

The loud bang that vibrated his table just as quickly brought him back.

Opening an eyelid, he was met with the rather familiar, _annoying_ features of a rather familiar, annoying ginger, rather _annoyingly_ standing and leaning against his desk like he’d invited him in the first place. Weighing out the options of either ignoring him or getting whatever was about to occur over with, he reluctantly paused the tunes floating through his headphones, releasing a sigh, before dropping the gadget to hang around his neck. Behind him, he could spot Yachi strolling into the classroom, looking a little nervous, and then Kageyama, lingering a safe distance away, arms folded, and typical disgruntled expression on his countenance. Hinata continued to stare, glaring at his face like he was trying to read hieroglyphics.

He frowned at him, his annoyance vibrant. “What?”

“We…” the ginger began, inhaling a breath inching back, then forward again as the pitch of his words increased in volume. “We wanted to invite you for lunch!” The volume of his voice was forever deafening, and Kei blinked, arching both brows as the loud words echoed in his head. _Lunch_? “It wasn’t my idea, but we already invited Yamaguchi. And Yachi wanted to include everyone! So…”

Kei sighed.

He had every intention of declining.

But for a single, fragile moment. He’d forgotten about a certain, freckle faced brunet that sat beside him in class.

“Of course he’d come!” the freckled teen of subject chirped, staring right at him, light, grey eyes directed into his, resolute and focused, the unwritten words across his grey orbs begging him to say yes. “Right Tsukki? You like strawberries don’t you? Yachi brought for everyone. She wanted to share.”

_Little demon_. Kei glared. He knew his weakness and had been plotting to exploit it this entire time, hadn’t he? At the glower he directed his way, Yamaguchi didn’t waver, although he _did_ look a little apologetic and a little hopeful all at once.

_It was too bad_. Kei really actually liked strawberries.

But he liked being _alone_ even better.

“No,” he replied instantly, rolling his eyes as everyone else’s expressions deflated at his response. “You’re too noisy. I can’t eat when it’s noisy, so I can’t eat around all of you.” It was a white lie. He mostly couldn’t stand being around more than one person, especially if those group of people included the one’s currently before his desk, begging him with their eyes to join them for _lunch_ of all things. He wanted to decline—_God he really wanted _to— but he could almost hear the words of his brother at the back of his mind now, saying things like ‘_It’s alright to make a few friends from time to time_.’ And he’d almost outwardly rolled his eyes, because his brother was cheesy and people weren’t worth his time in the first place.

** _Alone time isn’t bad. But people are good too._ **

_And why was **that** voice so **loud**?_

“But—” Yachi cut into his thoughts, suddenly beside Hinata, her hands clutching the edge of his desk while she peered down at him with pleading eyes. “What about… team bonding and… synching with your teammates. Like Daichi said. That one time!”

“Yeah, yeah!”

Kei felt his eyebrow twitch. _What was wrong with listening to his music in peace? What was wrong in being alone_? There was the possibility that they would all go away if he just put his headphones back on and ignored them like intended, but then Yamaguchi wouldn’t stop looking at him like that—like he was constantly worrying and concerned and didn’t want him to feel left out even though he didn’t care because he _didn’t_. And Yachi had on a concentrated pout, like she was trying to run several simulations in her head on the different ways they could drag him off with them—for reasons unspecified to him.

Hinata and Kageyama he could ignore—since he didn’t make it a habit to pay mind to narcissistic idiots and raucous dunderheads. But the other two were supposedly smart. They knew when and how to quit. They knew when to save their energy and when to use it.

So why were they wasting theirs on him?

_People were such try-hards. Idiotic, stupid try-hards_.

“W-well…” the smaller blonde spoke up again, a more determined expression now plastered on her resolve. She’d completely shoved Hinata aside, taking precedence at the front center of his table. “We aren’t leaving until you come with us!” she declared, puffing out her chest in a display of impromptu confidence. “S-so, resist all you want. We won’t let you—!”

“Fine.”

“Eh?” Her persistence quickly morphed into surprise as she watched Kei rise from his seat, backing away from his desk, slowly, as if she was expecting him to pull something out of his pocket.

He rolled his eyes at her stunned demeanor, stepping out of the desk area and grabbing his bag from where it had rested beside his seat, letting it hang off his shoulder. “Let’s get this over with.” He sighed. He guessed his break time playlist could be put on hold just this once. “You’ve already spoiled my break anyway, why not ruin the rest of it?”

“R-really?” she stuttered, trying—and failing—to blink the shock off of her face. Kei could bet she hadn’t expected him to say yes. He hadn’t expected himself either. Her attention veered over to Yamaguchi, both sharing a look, before averting back towards him, lips stretching into broad smiles. “Okay!” She beamed, joyous and jovial and full of accomplishment. With that, she offered a wide, welcoming grin, her expression relieved as she began walking out of his class, the rest of the first years following suit.

Kei had hoped to God it wouldn’t become routine.

* * *

“So… Sagittarius?”

“No… I think… Scorpio. It’s Scorpio isn’t it?!”

“You’re _both_ wrong. It’s Virgo!”

Yamaguchi declared triumphant, lifting up his card, and slamming it down on the stone edifice currently serving as an outdoor table. Hinata groaned out loud, letting his cards slip from his fingers as the game once again declared Yamaguchi the winner, the freckled teen in question smiling brightly as he reveled in the defeated faces of his opponents.

“It’s not fair though! You’re the one that made up the game!” Hinata huffed, annoyance shining through the usually competitive gaze of the small ginger. Beside him, Kageyama looked confusedly at his cards, while Yachi’s face swerved from Yamaguchi’s set of winner spades to the ones she held loosely between her fingers, confusion apparent as she tried to decipher how she’d lost three rounds in a row. Kei was trying not to roll his eyes for the thirteenth time in the ten minutes since round fifteen had started.

“You guys know we have homework to do, right?” his voice rang through the air of fun resting over the four other first years, reigning in their attention back to the present and from the universe beyond the one they were trapped in. Pausing in his motions, Yamaguchi nearly looked surprised, eyes switching over to his watch and widening as he caught wind of the time. 2 pm. This was normal on a Saturday. Kei would either go over to hang out with his best friend if he wasn’t busy with anything else, and they’d be stuck either playing the games they’d made up during their childhood years—or actual video games, watching movies, or raving over the inexplicable things they usually found online. On a few occasions, homework was done.

The inclusion of the other three hadn’t really been a constant until the day he’d met them.

He was still trying to get used to it.

“I can’t believe we’d spent over two hours playing…!” Yamaguchi blathered, trying to clear away the old cardboard frame from the outdoor table and onto the partially grassy floor of his home’s backyard. The place was relatively fuller than the last few years he’d been over—the Yamaguchi’s usually filled the small space with a few exceptional regularities from time to time. Now there was a barbeque stashed into the far corner, right beside the moderately sized garden that hadn’t been there a few weeks ago. His brunet friend hauled up his bag from the floor, letting most of the books he’d packed fall on to the stone table. “Alright… math time!”

This time, more than one audible groan joined in, Kageyama’s not as loud but still as disgruntled. It was obvious he didn’t like math. Well, nobody really did, even if they said they preferred it to other subjects. And Kei would have rather eaten his hair than admit it out loud, but his best friend was relatively better at it than him—not that he wasn’t any good. Just that Yamaguchi would usually get a 92 where he himself would get a 90. But it was fine. He was always better at the other ones when the former wasn’t. In that way, they complimented each other.

“Okay… but I want a rematch!” Hinata had yelled indignantly, still holding on to his cards and glaring half-heartedly at the brunet as he tried to swipe them away.

Yamaguchi sighed when the other had refused to hand them over, “Fine then.” He offered a smile, dropping his hands and flipping open his text book. “We’ll have a rematch when you ace your next test. Deal?”

“Deal!”

“I’m home,” Kei had mumbled quietly upon returning, kicking off his shoes and lingering at the entrance of their two-bedroom apartment as he shuffled into the pair of slippers waiting at the sides. From the direction of the kitchen, he could hear the clangs of metallic surfaces colliding, followed by frantic movements that were all too familiar at this point in time. He sighed. His brother was cooking again.

The older blond poked his head from the open kitchen entrance, a tray of sliced up vegetables balanced in one hand, while the other held on to the frame in an attempt to stop himself from slipping against the floor. “Welc—” The distressing beeps of the fire alarm rang clear through the house, and his brother released a curse, rushing back into the kitchen to disable the source and switching off the system. He returned back a minute later with a napkin in hand, and the apron tied loose around his waist. Despite what he thought to be smoke now emerging from the kitchen, and like he hadn’t almost burned the complex down, Akiteru offered him a smile. “Welcome back!”

Kei would have ignored the other’s attempts at normalcy was he not partially concerned for the state of tonight’s dinner.

“How was your playdate with Yamaguchi?”

“No one says playdate at this age,” he murmured, reverting his attention and restraining himself from rolling his eyes and rising up to meet his brother’s height as he moved away from the entry. He needed to sleep.

“Was it fun?” Akiteru inquired, his presence distancing very little from his vicinity. Kei paused in his motions, staring back at the older as the usual hope and genuine interest laid itself apparent on his face. Akiteru was always like that. Always curious and concerned and inquisitive. At times it was almost annoying. Releasing a breath, he decided to indulge his brother at least this once.

“Not really.” He shrugged, ignoring the pang that poked at his chest at his brother’s gratified expression. It was as if he’d interpreted his pessimistic reply into something else. “We had some company.”

“Company?”

“The two idiots and Yachi came over.”

“Ohh…” he hummed, his smile and expression morphing coyly. Kei could almost read his thoughts as his arms folded themselves against his chest. “What did you do?”

“Homework,” he replied. “And a few… other things.”

Akiteru hummed again, his tone notably less curious than prior. “But you had fun, right?”

“No.”

“No?”

Kei averted his eyes, landing them on an interesting spot on the adjacent wall. _Why did he always want to know?_ “Not really…”

He could spot Akiteru biting his lip, spot the twitch of his fingers as he tried not to habitually fidget, the way his eyebrows twitched like he was struggling with an internal debate. “They…” his brother starts, pausing for a brief moment as if reconsidering his next set of words. Then continuing. “They make you happy, right?”

At that he rolled his eyes and continued forward, mumbling out a “probably” as he entered his bedroom. “They’re more annoying than anything though.” He shut the door closed behind him, hauling his books on his desk and flopping against his bed. He did his best to ignore the expression he’d spied on his older brother’s face before escaping his line of sight and instead turning on the music on his headphones.

They’d never really finished their homework.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the game they were playing is one I made up when I was a dumb kid with a whole lot of imagination and a little bit of sense. So basically, you pick any zodiac sign and assign it a number and a specific card (like ace or hearts or clover), and then, each of you reveal the number you've assigned your sign to (but not the sign itself or card type you've chosen) after you've collected five cards of each. Then you pass cards around, and if your cards and numbers amount up to the number you've chosen for your sign, you either say 'I win' and end that round of the game, or you put your cards down. Putting your cards down means the others have to guess what your sign is in about ten seconds, and if one of them guesses correctly, they may be allowed to take your spot as winner for that round.
> 
> Chapter synopsis:
> 
> (Past): Resume back to where we left off with Kei being taken to base and introduced to the new character.
> 
> (Present): Cut to where we see Kei (still 16) in school, headphones on while he tries to relax during break. the first years arrive and disrupt the peaceful solitude, urging him to eat with them which he eventually does- albeit reluctantly- with a little bit of coercion. Cut again to where they are now at Yamaguchi's house during another study session, where they are playing the game explained above. His inner monologue reveals how much he gives in to the idea of inviting more people into his life while contemplating lowering the walls he'd built around himself.


	5. Looking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _concurrent, past_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goooooosh I'm so sorry I've been absent from this fic. Ive been trying my hardest to get some free time cuz I'm like, super busy and shit with college (and I've been trying to update my other fic , 'One hour and then...' since it has more followers - even though I like this fic more than the other.) Anyway, I've finally decided to update. Please enjoy!

Akiteru was sure, that the vivid despair etched onto his face would forever last a life time. It sat, sunken into his heart and engraving its sharp, jagged claws onto his chest, so much that it choked him, so much that his breaths no longer felt like his, and his body convulsed with an immobilizing fear; so much that slowly, like a deliberate, acting venom, spread through to all the corners of his lungs that nothing else except the gripping veracity of what had occurred made itself known.

_Panic_.

Scrapes and scratches littered across his skin as he slid through the stony gravel, dust kicking up from where the car had left, and from where his body skidded. The sounds of the vehicle slewing across the space of the parking lot screeched in his ears. He couldn’t get up. His legs were too slow.

Coughing out the dust that had invaded his mouth, he forced himself off the floor, the adrenaline still coursing through him working like a combustion of flames, his body moved—_finally moved_—but the car was already gone. He was too late. _He **couldn’t **have been too late_.

He was **right** there.

Something sharp shot into his chest, painful and dreadful and burning his insides like scalding fire. _No_… His hands scrambled for his phone. He could feel breaths picking up, panic rising, floating, lingering in his chest. _Dammit_. Where was his phone?

_How, how, how did this happen…?_

His phone. His phone… where was it? He swerved his head left and right, the environment, the grounds and trees and cars spinning, the panic invading his mind, blurring his sights. His phone wasn’t with him. His—

It was on the ground.

_How could he have let this happen?_

He dived towards the direction of the device, his fingers grabbing the cell like it was his lifeline as he got up once more and ran towards the direction of the parking lot’s exit. The wheel marks still stained the ground. As he clicked continuously on the power button of his phone, the screen remained blank, empty. It wasn’t coming on.

_Why did he let this happen?_

His phone wasn’t coming on. He bumped into someone’s shoulder. And another. And another. But he didn’t care because _his phone wasn’t coming on_. _What was he supposed to do_?

“Excuse me sir? Can I help you?”

They took his little brother.

_He couldn’t believe it_. He felt the desperate tears gather in his eyes.

They took _Kei_.

“Yes, please!” He swerved at a speed he didn’t think was possible, coming face to face with a dark-haired teen that probably should have been a few years younger than him. His brown eyes were wide with vivid concern as he stared up at him, shoulders tense and wary. He didn’t blame him. He probably looked crazy. “Your phone! Do—” he slowed down, trying to decrease the suffocating dread choking his breaths and lowering his volume. “Do you have a phone?”

“Y-yes? I—”

_Thank God. Oh, thank God_. “Give it to me!”

“I-I don’t…” The boy looked unsure, slowly backing away from him as he held what was most likely the device behind his back. “I’m not supposed to talk to strangers…”

_I don’t have time I’m so sorry_—

Apologizing to his future self in advance, he swiftly ducked behind the kid, snatching the device from his hand, and running off in the direction he’d seen the getaway car headed. He screamed apologies at the young, now offended teen, swearing to return it to him as soon as he was done.

Trying to keep the panic from overwhelming his senses proved a difficult feat. His hands were sweaty and dusty as he tapped against the keypad of the phone, his feet directing him to the direction the car had taken.

The dispatcher on the phone had picked up instantaneously.

He shoved it against his face.

“H-hello?!” he screamed into the device as he held it closely to his ear, relief flooding in as the voice of the dispatcher responded immediately on the other end.

“A kidnapping!” he hollered through the receiver, the despair sinking into his voice was laid bare. “Th-they took my brother. I don’t know what happened…. H-he wasn’t with me, but he…” Akiteru gulped, trying to slow his breaths—_even though he couldn’t breathe, even though he felt like he was choking and drowning and falling and there just wasn’t enough _air— “Y-yes, I’ll try,” he spoke and tried following the dispatcher’s orders to describe the vehicle. “It was a black BMW… no it didn’t have a number plate.” He pushed his way past the small crowd of people walking in his opposite direction, eyes moving from side to side, searching, and hoping to find the black car his brother was in amongst the number of vehicles that sped past him, driving by and speeding and moving in different directions.

_There were too many cars how was he going to find him he wasn’t going to find him he’d lost Kei and he’d lost him forever_—

“Sunny Hay. The new Amusement Park that opened at Sendai… yes _that_ one.” He cleaned a stray tear that had fallen down his cheek. _Calm down. Just calm down. Please._ A lorry blared its horn as it passed through the cross-section. A sign on the corner of the road directed him to a small coffee shop. A black car passed by.

It was a Mustang.

He grits his teeth in attempt to keep his despair from escaping. _What was he going to do if he lost him? _The dispatcher asked for his name. “Tsukishima Akiteru…. seventeen…. Eight…” The large vehicle blared its horn again as it passed by. _God, what was he going to do? _“No… just my aunt.”

He’d reached the small-time café and looked up to view the name of the hole-in-the-wall coffee shop. _He was scared. He was so scared. He didn’t know what to do_. His panic was heavy against the receiver. The dispatcher told him to breathe. He quickly relayed his position to the police, anxiety biting at his heart as he was told to hold and wait where he was. Don’t do anything drastic. Wait for the police.

But his heart was still beating fast, and he was still standing on the road, free while his brother was not.

_His brother was in a stranger’s car, panicked, scared and alone._

Akiteru apologized even further to his future self and blatantly ignored the dispatcher’s orders.

He did the exact opposite of what he’d been told to do, and made his way forward, following the dirty skid marks on the road floors that swerved right. For all he knew, they may have been made by another car a few hours ago—a day ago, even—but with his nerves the way it was, with his head aching and his pulse racing and panic mounting, he couldn’t have found it in him to care. The only thing he could think about then was his brother, and how frightened he was.

And Akiteru wanted to cry. He wanted to cry terribly because he was so **_afraid_**_._ Because Kei’s terrified face kept on replaying in his mind. Because with every passing second, he felt despair claw deeper into his chest, ebbing away at his insides.

_He had to find him_. _He had to save him. He had to bring him home_.

It was all he could think.

In the traffic ahead, horns blared, car lights flickered, and up ahead, the gleam of the sun reflected off the surface of an old, black, BMW.

Akiteru’s breath hitched, and his feet were moving before he could think.

**PAST**

Akiteru, in the twelve years he’d lived, had only ridden in a private car just twice. When his father had taken the family out of town for the summer, and when they had ridden back home to Miyagi. His father could have taken them out a few more times, but he was barely, if not ever around, and his mother didn’t have the time to own a car. She was always busy, always working.

Entering one cleaner and more expensively built than anything he’d ever seen was enough to drop his jaw. It was like the ones he saw on those TV ads and magazine covers. It was _Amazing_. And he was riding in it.

The older Tsukishima helped his younger, shorter brother to climb the seats, before entering in and giving himself enough time to revel at the smoothness and comfort of the cushions on his bottom. The interior of the vehicle was an expensive black, with twinges of silver so clean they reflected the moon hanging off the sky. He could see the same reveling gaze in his brother’s eyes, the way they gleamed with curiosity and awe as he observed the innards. There was a fridge in the back seat, and even a TV screen!

His fingers had moved to feel against the smooth, shiny surface, the cold of the metal biting faintly into his skin. He retracted quickly as his ‘aunt’ sooner sent him a sharp look upon entering the front seat of the car, her gaze like piercing icicles that froze the core, and huddled close to his brother, hunching over himself in a way to escape the cold gaze. She didn’t look friendly at all, and the way she eyed them over like rotted pieces of left overs made him squirm and constantly look away.

The ride went on like that, long and silent, Kei having fallen asleep within the first ten minutes on the road. He carded his fingers through soft blond locks, subconsciously huddling his little brother closer to him so he could feel the light snores huffing gently against his stomach_. He was probably tired_. Akiteru wished he could just easily fall asleep as well, wishes his eyes would droop and the exhaustion he felt creeping underneath manifested forth—but not with the way the occurrences of the night still played in his head, not with the way he could still hear it, _the stomps of the feet… the single gunshot_…

The number his mother had him memorize.

_518916_

Now that he thought about it, Akiteru thinks he’s seen that number once before. But trying to dig too deeply into his memories exhausted his very being, and he might as well have reached the height of his mental forte for a single night, because all he could solely concentrate on without lingering on the memories of the night, were the passing streetlamps and the lights of 24-hour shops as they sped through the town and away from home.

It seemed like hours had passed before his tiredness eventually caught up to him, and when the car had stopped, and he was being woken up by tapping hands against his cheek, Akiteru had forgotten when he’d fallen asleep in the first place.

“Wake them up.” The voice that rang into his ears was firm and stern, his eyes blinking open to stare into cold eyes that reflected the voice itself. Aunt Ayame sat at the front seat of the now immobile car, the palm of the driver leaving his face and retracting back to the wheel at front. His mind was barely coherent as he rubbed at his eyes and struggled to stay awake, cool wind wafting against his body and causing him to shiver as the car doors opened. Outside, a lady stood in a maid outfit, her body lowering and hand outstretching as she reached over and under the backseat entrance, offering to take his still sleeping brother from his arms.

Almost unconsciously, he flinches away from her, holding his little brother closely as if to protect him from all the external dangers of the world. The maid looks surprised at this, her gaze travelling away to his aunt, as if to ask for what to do. However, all she got in reply was the woman’s cold silence. The maid then proceeded to heave a sigh, turned back to him and offered him a friendly smile.

“Hello, Tsukishima-san. I know you must be very tired,” she spoke, and her voice was soft and kind, and nothing like his aunt’s. She slowly leaned in, her pleading look shifting into something more amicable as her eyes wondered to the sleeping blond wrapped in his arms. “He’s a very cute boy, he’s you’re brother, yes?” Akiteru nodded, his posture slowly losing its tension the more she talked. She sounded approachable, friendly even. “Ah, how nice! I have a younger sister, you know?”

“Really?” he arched a brow, now curious about the lady as she continued. The maid nodded and smiled.

“Yup,” she replied, popping the ‘p’ at the end. “And she could be a pain sometimes,” The maid then laughed, as if reminiscing on a funny memory. “But, I’d do anything for her.”

Kei wriggled in his hold, adjusting his position as he snuggled against Akiteru’s stomach, small hands holding on to his shirt. _Anything_… “Me too, I guess,” he declared, smiling back at the maid. She released an amused breath as he mirrored her gaze, her hands then inching forward, outstretched in a silent offer.

“That’s true, Tsukishima-san,” she says. “But sometimes, I can’t do everything on my own. It’s why I have people who help me whenever I can’t. You’re a little tired, aren’t you?” At his reluctant nod, she released a soft giggle, his cheeks heating as she pointed out his current weakness. “Well, let me be the first to help you then. Kumi, at your service!”

Her soft smile brightened into a grin, and Akiteru decided then, as kindness emanated from her, that Kumi-san would be the first person he would trust.

After helping him with Kei, Kumi led the both of them through the huge, ginormous house, and she had laughed at how awed he looked at the high, high ceilings and endless spiral stairs and smooth marble floors. She giggled when he made fun of the weird paintings on the walls, and snickered with him when he’d mocked the gigantic portrait of the old, ancient guy that was supposed to be his great grandfather.

She patted his head and led him and his brother to his room, and tucked them in. She wished him goodnight as he went lights out the moment his head hit the very comfortable pillows. And before he shut his eyes to disappear into the land of reveries inside his head, he heard her soft whisper of ‘dream good dreams’, followed by the clicks of a switch, a dim darkness enveloping the room, illuminated only by the shine of the moon and stars peeking through the tall, glass windows.

The next morning he’d woken up, his brother was gone.

At first, Akiteru had panicked, because his baby brother had been _right beside him_ and he couldn’t have just **disappeared**. But then he heard giggles coming all the way from the closet door within the room, and when he’d walked over to peek through the doors, he’d seen it was Kei and Kumi, with the younger bouncing up and down on a beanbag and the maid sorting through the clothes hung in the rack above.

“Oh,” Kumi suddenly turned, noticing Akiteru peeking through the entrance and offering him a warm smile. “Good morning Tsukishima-san. Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah… like a rock,” he said, fully sliding open the thin wooden doors and inviting himself in. “The bed was _super_ comfy.” It was like sleeping on clouds. Nothing like his bed back home. He’d never really sunken so deeply and warmly into the old mattress in his bed like he did here.

But even still, he missed the old lamp that barely worked beside his bed, and dinosaur figurines atop his shelves, and the feel of the ancient rug atop his room floor that had been in the house longer than his parents. “How’d you sleep, Kumi-san?”

“Very well, thank you,” she replied, leaning down to carry an empty blue basket from the floor, and hauling it away as she exited the closet. “Breakfast has been prepared downstairs.” Akiteru perked up at the thought of food, suddenly remembering he hadn’t taken dinner the night before. “Would you like to eat now?”

“Yes please!”

Akiteru had to struggle to drag his younger brother away from the bouncy beanbag to follow him down for breakfast, the smaller Tsukishima pouting the entire time, although perking up at the sight of food once they’d reached the humongous dining room. It seemed like everything in the house was just plain _huge_. The table stretched longer than the size of his parent’s own living room, and had several chairs arranged orderly around it, the marble surface of the table reflecting the bright shine of the chandelier lights hanging from the ceiling.

And seating at the furthest end was his aunt Ayame, dark hair up in a bun, already fitly dressed in a suit as she held a cup of what he guessed had to be coffee in her hand. He recalled his mother always sipping a cup of coffee every time she woke up on one of her busy days. It was safe to assume all adults did the same thing. Almost on instinct, his speed decelerated to a slow stroll upon spotting the woman, unconsciously dawdling behind the maid and hiding behind her long gown as she approached the dining. Kei followed suit, staying behind his older brother as Kumi-san paused in her steps and lowered herself in a slight bow.

“Good morning, Tsukishima-san. I brought the boys down to join you for breakfast.”

He watched, half-hiding behind Kumi as his aunt merely reacted, the only sign that she’d heard at all being a low hum, her mug still raised to her lips. Just as Kumi was urging them to join her at the table, his aunt cleared her throat, lowering her cup to a fancy looking saucer on the table and shifting her gaze to peer down at the two brothers. Flinching, Akiteru averted his gaze, forcing himself not to hide further behind the kind maid.

“Kumiko,” his aunt addressed, her cold brown orbs shifting to rest on the other lady in the room. Aunt Ayame sounded as cold and stern as she always seemed to sound, but this time he could notice the bare hints of annoyance interlaced within the tone of her voice. He assumed it was why Kumi winced, a confused posture to her stance as her name was voiced. “What were the things you were told to do this morning?”

Behind her, Akiteru could feel her shift, her demeanor tense. “Clean the upper rooms and studies of the house, restock the kitchen cabinets, re-distribute the articles of clothing in the laundry, prepare the breakfast table, ensure the new helps accumulated well to their schedule and make sure everything else is in order before Kobayashi-san arrives.” Eyes wide, he looked up at Kumi as she quoted the list of duties she was to tend to in one day, his curiosity captivated at how big Kumi-san’s job must have been if she was given so much responsibility. The sharp piercing voice drew him forth from his fascination, attention springing back to the callous mannered woman in front.

“And where, in your schedule, does bringing the boys to ‘join’ me for breakfast, enter?”

Kumi shifted some more, her movements more obvious. “Ma’am, I just thought it wouldn’t—”

“_Where_, Kumiko?” Akiteru jolted as her voice rose in intensity, feeling his younger brother’s fists clench tightly as he tightened his hold on his brother’s clothes.

“Nowhere, Tsukishima-san.”

“And did you inform me you were planning on bringing them here?”

“No ma’am.”

It was as if something, a pressure, compressed the air around the room, the light mood of the kind maid could be felt shifting, carrying along the terseness and weight of the atmosphere through the air. Akiteru could no longer stop himself from shifting further to hide away from the pressure of her gaze, the hand that wasn’t currently holding on to Kumi’s skirt, resting on his brother and shifting him further away from her sights as well.

“My, my,” Aunt Ayame tut-tutted, grabbing a napkin and wiping at her hands even though they virtually weren’t dirty. “I didn’t think you were a rule breaker, Kumiko.” She blinked condescendingly, further punctuating the disappointment in her voice by allowing her lips to sink into a frown. “How disappointing.” She took a moment before rising up from her seat, hands swiftly motioning to adjust the invisible creases in her clothing.

“My brother was rather foolish,” she voiced, her tone laced with apathy. “Made reckless decision upon reckless decision, tarnishing the family name. And now, he leaves me with…” The more her gaze shifts to land upon them, he notices, the more her voice seemed to sound like knives ripping apart the seams holding his soul. At the rise of her tone, Akiteru could feel his spine rack with shivers, something similarly akin to fear slowly, gradually crawling up his skin.

“Come out.” It was a command, a clear, distinct one, and it took all of his willpower not to run away; away from wherever his aunt’s eyes evidently dwelled upon. As Akiteru and Kei were forced to step out, he felt like weltering under the scrutiny of her gaze, her eyes travelling up and down his form as she pinched her brows in obvious distaste. And he suddenly felt conscious of the things her eyes lingered upon. The grime and dust spotting his clothes, his dirty slippers, the smudge of dirt on his cheek he hadn’t managed to clean off the night before. His Aunt Ayame scrounged up her nose, and basically spat out her next set of words in revulsion. “How horrid. They even _look_ like her.”

_Her_. Did she mean his mother? He’d angled his head to stare back at her, but then reverted his gaze, unwilling to bear gaping into the soul sucking dimensions of her stark, icy eyes. _She meant his mom, didn’t she?_ He could feel the back of his own eyes stinging, an itch in his chest creeping up with welling, overwhelming emotions. _His beautiful, kind mom_.

_Mom, why does she sound like she hates you?_

“Since they are now under my custody, I will make sure they do not at least starve,” his aunt continued to speak, her attention now shifting away from the brothers and back to Kumi who’d been standing tensely on the side. “Get them out of my sight,” she ordered. “They are to be fed after you have ensured they’re clean enough to walk around the halls of my house. That is all.”

And at that, she left the dining room, his thoughts no longer dwelling on the largeness of the house, and the gentle hand on his back nothing but a registered feeling at the back of his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Concurrent): (Akiteru's POV) Picking up from where we left off, with Kei being kidnapped and him trying to chase the abductors down.
> 
> (Past): Another peek into the night of when the disaster struck, introducing another new character, and more of Aunt Ayame.
> 
> A little fyi; I actually literally sat down and envisioned myself in Aki's situation before laying down the several emotions and analogies written in this chapter. It helped that I also have a little sister--although picturing myself in this scenario was mentally and emotionally exhausting. No one wants any of their loved ones to be taken away from them.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Comments and Kudos are highly appreciated!


	6. Chasing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Concurrent, Present_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, I'm back ya'll. Finally, I've updated! I know it took a while, and I'm sorry! I just had lotsa work to do, but I'm here now! And finally I've decided to start a schedule, although I doubt it will be as frequent as my other fics. Writing this really does make me emotionally stressed out, so I have to put my self in the right state of mind before delving into writing. Anyway, enough of my rambled that literally no one wants, and enjoy the chapter!
> 
> (Also, I've been listening to Euphoria's soundtrack and that shit puts me in the _mood_. I s2G I love Zendaya.)

As soon as Akiteru starts running, the BMW moves, evading the traffic and overtaking vehicles as it ventures off the road at a speed that must have been illegal.

He screams, and he screams loud, the attentions of passersby and pedestrians shifting to the frantic male tearing across the street like a madman. Curious eyes wonder over to him as he yells out his brother’s name, pointing at the getaway vehicle while hollering about a kidnapping having taken place. His heart pulsates faster than it ever had, and the adrenaline coursing through his veins picks up speed, running rampant like an unremitting combustion as every breath felt like a hazard.

The BMW dashes full speed ahead of the road, tire tracks and smoke left behind like it was in a race against time. Civilians conscious of his distress attempt to stop him, half-finished enquiries escaping their lips as he thoroughly ignores them in favor of catching up to the car.

His breaths run haggard and rampant, his vision more tunnel focused than it had ever been in his life. The only thing he could see was Kei.

The only thing he could feel was fear.

Akiteru’s frantic sight lands on a motorbike a short distance away, and he speeds up to it, running up to the blond-haired lady leaning beside it and cradling a cup of slushie in her hand whilst she stares at the TV adds playing through the windows of a store.

“_Hello_?!” he hollers while running up to her, his hands digging frantically into his pockets. The young lady startles from her trance, and stares wide eyed at his face like she hadn’t seen him coming. He barely stops, yelling his desperate words in her direction while he searches for his wallet. “_Hello…!!! _You!” Her eyebrows shot up in question, obvious skepticism could be seen written across her features. _Yeah, he wouldn’t trust a crazy looking guy either_. “Yes _you!_ I need your help… Please!” Akiteru finally stops right in front of her, receding himself from the luxury of catching a breath and digging through his found wallet for all the cash he had on him. Before he could withdraw a single penny, her sharp callous voice cuts across his panic like a heavily wielded blunt.

“_Hey_.” He stops short of retracting his hand from his wallet, wide, agitated eyes traced on her. Her eyes were as sharp as her features, brown orbs running over his frantic countenance. “What’s the problem?”

“I-I don’t have time to explain!” he stutters out, voice distorting in his panic. He displays his money to her. Currently 8000 yen. Her eyes widen upon seeing the amount. “Please! I’ll pay you… I-I know it’s not much, but I need to follow that car!”

As he points to the speeding black BMW currently trying to evade yet another traffic, she blinks confusedly, quirking up a brow. Before she could question him again, he’s already yelling, already sweating and breathing so hard—_too hard_.

“My brother’s in there! _He’s only eight_… please you gotta help—”

“A kidnapping…?” She cuts into his sentence, her confused eyes now taking on a critically serious gaze. She tosses him a helmet, and he barely catches it before catching on to her next set of words. “Keep your money,” she says, mounting her bike and fixing on her own helmet, a sturdy, navy blue thing that looked like it had seen better days. The blonde woman revs her engine, the loud rumbles permeating the air as it roars to life. “Get in.”

Akiteru wasted no second following up, stuffing his wallet back into his pockets and hopping right in the back, holding on tightly around her small waist. She says no other words, leaning in and kicking forward as she rides off the sidewalk, cup of slushie forgotten on the table outside the store as they speed away into the road. The wind bites through the open visors of Akiteru’s helmet and into his eyes, kicking back free strands of hair as they flutter in the wild moving breeze.

His heart beat faster than it ever had as they passed by other vehicles, quick whizzes of their presence and colored blurs the only evidence that the road was not void of any other being.

They were moving _fast_.

The logical, more cautious side of his senses wanted to plead with the lady to _slow down_. His hands squeezed just a bit tighter around her waist, and he held on to the motorbike for dear life, because any faster and they’d be nothing but splat against the side of oncoming truck.

But he knew logic had been sorely screwed the moment he’d stolen that kid’s phone.

_Which by the way he’d have to return_, his thoughts echoed into his frayed mind, settling amongst the other frantic things running across the space of his head. _His scared eyes flashed unbidden in the forefront of his mind… His cry for help… _

_God_, he’d cried for help.

Why was he the only one that saw?

“Hey!” The lady’s voice was loud as it dragged him from his head and back into the present, the revs of her bike engine coupled with the wind-breaking speed of their race made it hard to hear anything but the sound of his own voice. Though hers was boisterous enough to exceed even that. “Hold on tight! We’re getting close!” she shouts, and it was all he could do to not jump out of his seat as they sped hastier down the road, the cars increasing in abundance the more they got closer and closer to their over-speeding target. The BMW was merely ten cars away.

They were going to make it.

Something like excitement bubbled into his veins and joined the adrenaline still pumping through his bloodstream. _They were going to make it_.

_The vision of his brother careening himself into his arms played sweetly in his mind, and like an ornate trap, he was ensnared in the feeling_.

As he squinted his eyes in an effort to peer through the back windows of the runaway vehicle, try to make out the figures within the moving car, the phone in his pocket buzzed against his thigh.

And it wasn’t the police.

Struggling to hold on while simultaneously checking the screen of the flip phone. Caller ID flashed against the blinking screen, phone vibrating vigorously in his grip. It displayed the word ‘Mom’ right across, letters bright and black with the picture of a black-haired woman smiling in the background.

_Well, shit_. He’d pilfered that boy’s phone without even thinking of the consequences or repercussions. Without even thinking that the kid could have somehow been _lost_, and that the kid’s mother might have been looking for him at that moment. _He’d acted without thinking_. And Akiteru never acted without thinking. He’d always done everything with consideration to how it would affect him in the future. Each step of his was made to be careful.

Nevertheless, he’d made errors, and stolen an innocent child’s phone, and _gone against constituted authority_—_and holy heck did it make his heart beat fast_. But he’d done it because he put his younger sibling above everything else. He told himself it was simply in his nature. It felt right to ignore everything that didn’t line up to it.

And oh, he _knew_ he was wrong. Akiteru was in the wrong and he knew it more than anyone else. But no part of him could find it in himself to care.

There was an unwavering resolve embedding its crevices into his being, gripping his heart and squeezing all parts of him dry. _That’s right. He doesn’t care_. It was a drug that blinded his senses and focused his attention particularly on a single thing and only _that_ thing. He was indifferent to every other feeling beside fear, and grit, and despair. They were all he could feel.

And they were like poison in his veins.

He was jolted out of his thoughts when something heavy collided against the side of the bike, and he turned to stare right at—

_The car…_

The black BMW was clean, although older with a few signs of constant usage and reckless driving. There was a dent against the side of the car, a painting on the passenger door he hadn’t seen before. It read the kanji for ‘wild’ and ‘free’.

And the windows… weren’t tinted.

The lady banged her bike against the side of the vehicle again, causing the car to swerve off the road, the tires screeching as it fought for control and ended up almost colliding against a nearby tree. The blond woman was screaming something at the car as she parked her bike and jumped right off, anger and annoyance fuming from her countenance alone, it almost looked like _she’d_ been the one formerly screaming for help and trying to save the only person that had ever mattered to her.

She ran up to the car, screaming obscenities at the drivers and calling them sick lunatics like she wasn’t the one who’d been banging into the vehicle a few minutes ago. Should the people within the car wield guns, they’d been more than dead in a few seconds.

Akiteru would have been awed at her mere _bravery_ if he wasn’t currently in shock.

It had almost been like slow motion.

The car doors swerved open, and out came a dark-haired college kid full of piercings and an angered visage, a long-haired brunette by his side, and another college kid, a confused expression splattered across her neatly made-up face as she stared at the blonde biker girl, and then at Akiteru, with bewilderment in her eyes and questions creasing her forehead.

_Static_. It was like static.

It buzzed in his ears and in his head, a slowly, crushing realization exposing its vindictive form for everyone to see. It choked his breath and blocked his lungs. It banged against his head and crushed the inside of his chest. It was disgusting and numbing and it fogged up his eyes.

It was a heartless thing, and it dug daggers into his heart.

_His brother wasn’t there._

Akiteru couldn’t believe it or himself. He’d followed the wrong car. He almost laughed.

He _did_ laugh.

But it was a broken thing, a cracked recorder, a shattered sound, and it came from his throat.

_His brother wasn’t there_. It was funny, he voiced. A hilarious prank, an amusing joke. It was the funniest thing he’d ever seen, but he was the only one laughing. The biker girl had taken off her helmet and was staring at him, her sharp eyes holding something reminiscent to _pity_. The owners of the crashed car were looking at him like he’d gone crazy. Other people were gathering, and they were staring, but they weren’t laughing. He was the only one.

His brother wasn’t there.

Akiteru cried out into the air.

_The poison spread_.

**PRESENT**

_His body was submerged in water, the eerie deep liquid tinged a solid black, dark and encompassing. He couldn’t see anything beyond the darkness, and it was quiet. His limbs remained stagnant and involuntary, every attempt to move increasing his decent downwards the bottomless pit. Akiteru couldn’t breathe. He should’ve been panicking and crying and kicking for escape, but somehow, he felt calm. Detached._

_The tension dissipated from his shoulders, and further he went, falling deeper and deeper and deeper into the depths of the inky ocean. _

_As the last tinges of feeling left his body, a hand shot out from within the darkness._

He woke up with a soft gasp, eyes locked on the ceiling as his vision attempted shifting into focus. His phone vibrated beside his head as consciousness returned to the rest of his limbs, reaching out instinctively towards the device and squinting as the bright contrast of the light shone against his eyes. A text message displayed itself across the screen.

**From: Akira**

**Subject: Volleyball?**

**I’m at the local sports center. Let’s meet up. It’s been a while.**

* * *

The run to the sports center right around the corner had been self-satisfying, sweat beading his forehead as he slowed upon approaching the front entrance. He was off work today, so the house was empty as Kei had to go to school while he had nothing else to do for the rest of the morning.

Akira stood at the front entrance, waving at the blond as he neared. It had been a while since he’d heard from the brunet.

He was one of the few people who’d been truly there for him during the harrowing incident that had happened years ago, but he’d later lost contact with him months after their high school graduation. Kei had still not been returned around that time. It had only been a few months ago where they’d ran into each other at the supermarket, Akiteru learning that the other had been living abroad with his family and had later moved back to Japan.

They’d done nothing more than swap a few words, exchange numbers and promise to keep in touch. This was the first time they’d truly meet together for more than a few minutes.

“Hey Tsukishima!” he greeted, grinning up at the taller male as he closed their distance. “You look good! Did you grow taller or did I just get shorter?” Akiteru replied with an amused laugh, following behind as Akira walked through the double doors of the center and past the wide, spacious lobby. They were greeted by the receptionist at the table, passing by a few other people dressed in several athletic gear and wear for different kinds of sport. The halls were just as wide, signs and posters pasted on the walls advertising a number of athletes and games scheduled for the week. A group of guys holding a basketball barged into one of the gyms, whooping loudly as they caught sight of a wide dunk being made into a hoop.

“Must be nice to be big…” Akira mumbled, sounding more than a little indifferent as they ventured up the flight of stairs. He turned back to the tall blond, a grin lifting up his lips. “Do you think you’d have chosen basketball if you had… I dunno—like if _I_ played basketball, would you have played?”

“Probably.” He shrugged, staring at the yellow ‘wet floor’ caution sign on the landing of the second trip of stairs they had to take. “I mean, if you were a swimmer during high school, maybe I’d have chosen to swim? There’s a lot of possibilities.”

Akira nodded, looking delighted at his answer. “Well, there’s no way I’d give up on volleyball for anything though.”

“Yeah, you basically _breathe_ off the sport.”

“Basically,” Akira snorted, his speed and excitement suddenly increasing as they neared the volleyball gym. The familiar squeaks of volleyball shoes and the slam of volleyballs against the floor echoed across the wide space upon entering. One of the three courts had been taken by a group of girls, while only a few guys lounged around the other of the remaining courts, some of the faces looking a tad familiar as he approached. “I invited some of our old high school buddies,” the shorter male announced then, staring up at him. “If that’s okay.”

Looking closely, he could recognize a few of the others he’d made acquaintances with back at Karasuno, back when he’d wanted—no, _needed_—to learn volleyball.

They greeted him as he came on court, a few slapping his back, a few asking about his current status, most dropping a ‘hello’ here and there. Akira had cut them off before the conversations could delve deeper into anything else, blatantly eager to start up the first set.

The game had taken a total of thirty minutes without breaks, and it was the most amount of fun he’d had in a while. His team lost twice, but Akira as usual was jubilant and excessive, his energy failing to diminish even after everyone was soaked in sweat and panting for breath. He’d demanded one more game, because they weren’t going to see each other for probably a while, and he was itching to feel the ball slam against his red, calloused palms for just a moment longer. He was itching for satisfaction.

Akiteru could never feel the same way his friend felt about the sport, He’d never feel the way he did after hitting a spike or blocking an attack, or successfully receiving the ball. But he could at least feel gratification and contentment. He could be thankful for volleyball, and the things it did for him.

“You know…” Akiteru began, leaning against the wall beside the shorter male. He had a towel draped around his neck, a near empty water bottle in his hand. They’d just finished their third set, the other guys sitting on the benches and discussing going out for beer afterwards. “I’m glad you got me into volleyball.”

“Yeah, me too,” Akira replied, letting a short moment of silence pass as he chugged down a stream of water from his bottle till only slow droplets remained. Throwing the empty can down, he brought his arms to his knees and rested them above, staring out into the distance of the court, then back at him. “You were doing pretty badly. Had to help, y’know?”

Akiteru nodded, then sighed. “You basically saved me,” he reminisced distantly. “I think I would’ve… _died_. Or something worse.” His chuckle was far from comical, past memories digging their claws deeper into the darker pits of his mind. He did nothing to suppress them. They didn’t trouble him anymore. Not like before.

“Hey, you’re alive and playing volleyball with me. That’s what counts,” Akira said, grunting as he stood up. His hand shout out in front of him, an ever-present grin on his face as he spoke and offered him his palm. “Come on, we have another round to play. I’m not tired yet!”

“Yeah, yeah.” He smiled back, latching on to his wrist and pulling his weight so he was standing up as well, returning his grin in full blast. Noticing the start of their last set, one of the guys blew a whistle, the rest huddling up to the court.

“Let’s play until we’re satisfied.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Synopsis:
> 
> (Concurrent): Akiteru sets out to follow the car he'd seen his brother in, only to find out he'd been following the wrong vehicle and ends up despairingly distraught.
> 
> (Present):On his off day, Akiteru gets invited by a friend from the past for a little get together on the volleyball court.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! If you like, you can @ me at fanfictionbystar on tumbr. See ya!


	7. Reliving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Concurrent, Present_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm mega sorry for the wait , really! But life's been really busy and I've been trying to update my recent fic, so please bear with me until I set myself a proper schedule! 
> 
> Also: Warning for rape, non-consensual drugging, mentions of non-consensual child pornography and touching, PTSD, and panic attacks.

  


The room he’d been taken to was dark.

  


The person—a lady—holding his hand hadn’t said a word to him as they walked away from the other room, taking him down a dreary hall and down a flight of stairs. Dim bulbs lined the ceiling of the long corridors, casting a low, glowing light across the hallway. They’d passed by doors, a number of doors, each wooden and old looking, with green paint peeling off in some.

  


Kei was taken to a room a bit further down the hall, the door the same old rancid, peeling green as the rest. She reached into her pockets and brought out a bunch of keys, jamming one into the key hole and twisting it severally till it clicked ajar. When the door opened, the smell that emanated from the place was stale and unlike anything he’d smelt before. And it was dark.

  


_Too dark_.

  


Kei didn’t like the dark.

  


_He wanted to go home._

  


“E-excuse me…” His voice was a low, shaky whimper, the fear and uncertainty never leaving his eyes. He tried to look as tear-jerking as he could. The lady didn’t look as mean as Ham, at least. _Maybe she’d him help if he_… “Please, I-I don’t—I don’t wanna stay here.”

  


The woman didn’t say a word to him, only tightening her hold on his hand, and moving forward.

  


He tried again. “Uhm… I want… I wanna go home,” he said, feeling his voice shake as she just continued to drag him further into the room. The staleness of the weird-smelling air hit him in full force, and he’d almost choked, bringing a hand to his nose to block out most of it. The lady wasn’t listening to him. She just continued to move, her hold constantly increasing its grip probably because she didn’t want him to run away. As they continued to walk further, they’d paused for a second, a loud click sounding across the room, and then it was no longer dark.

  


A bright yellow light shone from the ceiling, lighting up the small space he’d been taken to, lighting up the medium sized bed pushed against the wall, the rough, carpeted flooring, the little closet beside the bed, and the old looking bedside table with two drawers on the other side. It lighted up the entirety of the space, all the stains on the walls and carpets, every sign of aging on each piece of wooden furniture.

  


The woman took him to the bed, and told him to sit.

  


The bed wasn’t dirty, and the mattress wasn’t so bad, but it felt wrong, and it squeaked when he moved. Kei was taller than most kids his age, but the bed was really big, and his feet didn’t touch the ground.

  


He stared at the ground, at his sneakers.

  


They were blue, and had cool, silver stars at each side that glowed in the dark. Akiteru had given it to him as a gift after his first job. He’d told him they reminded him of his cool little brother, and that’s why he’d gotten it. His brother always thought about him. He knew because he always told Kei. Because he was always there.

  


He wished he was there.

  


“Stay here,” the lady spoke, and her voice was deep and mellow. She let go of his hand, but let it rest beside him on the bed. “Don’t leave, alright? We don’t want to hurt you,” she instructed, but Kei didn’t answer her, still keeping his eyes on his sneakers, hunching up his shoulders so his chin was buried into his chest. Kei was scared and wanted to go home.

  


He didn’t want to be here.

  


“_No…_” he whimpered, tears leaking from his eyes again. He hated feeling sad and afraid. Hated the feeling of being so helpless and scared and wanting for his older brother that _wasn’t there and hadn’t saved him_. “I don’t wanna stay here!” he screamed at the lady, backing away from her when she tried to reach out to him. The bed squeaked loudly from underneath his scuttling feet. “I _want_ to go _home_! _Take me back!_” She reached out for him again, and he kicked back at her, his foot landing against her face while he scrambled to get away.

  


He screamed as she leaped at him before he could rush for the open door, her hands quickly latching on to his hoodie and dragging him back into her grasp. As he continued to struggle, she held him closely, her arms encircling him in some sort of torturous embrace while he fought for escape.

  


Just as he considered biting her shoulder, a presence suddenly made itself known from across the room, the tall shadow of a well-suited man leaning against the door frame.

  


“A-Agro-san!” the lady stuttered, and Kei froze. The woman holding him against her front was facing the newcomer at the entrance, so that he had his back to the door. He could feel the embrace of the woman tighten, her hand moving to his head so that it was further buried against her chest as he shook and cried.

  


“I thought I heard a problem, that’s why I came.” His deep, velvety voice was as clear as the vivid patch plastered against the wall behind the bed, and the clicks of his shoes barely softened as he entered the room.

  


_The loud gunshot echoed into his ears_.

  


“No problem here sir… he’s just being a little restless,” she stated, her hand now stiffening against his head.

  


The footsteps stopped. And they stopped behind him.

  


He could feel his shadow looming directly over them. His expensive perfume joining the staleness of the air.

  


“Restless?” His voice was closer than ever, and he didn’t dare turn back to stare at the man’s face. _The thud of the body falling to the ground was louder_. He continued to shake. He continued to cry. The man was crouching beside him now, bending so he could stare right into Kei’s frightened expression. He could feel his breath against his ear, warm and hot and disturbing as he inched closer. “Come now, firefly,” he purred. “We’re not here to hurt you.”

  


“Y-you… you’re lying…” he griped, his hands fisted against the lady’s chest and his eyes closed so he didn’t have to look at the man. “I d-didn’t wanna come here. I j-just wanted… to go home… b-back to my brother!”

  


“But this _is_ your home,” the man countered. _Red soaked the floor beneath him, drenching his clothes_. He wanted to throw up again. “Your brother wanted you to come here.”

  


Kei felt his heart spike. “_No! You’re lying!_” With vigor rekindled, he renewed his struggles, pounding against the lady holding him while his breaths came out shallow and panicked. “_Let me go! You’re lying!_”

  


He fought and kicked and struggled for over a minute, and through it all the lady still didn’t let go, her grip remaining firm, her hold never wavering.

  


His strength left him soon enough, his body subduing as he inhaled frantic breaths and sniveled against her chest, body trembling as the fight gradually frittered away. And Agro remained there through everything, watching him cry and beg and scream. Watching him shake and whimper till he was nothing but a shuddering mess of tears and pain.

  


After over a minute of crying, he felt a familiar handkerchief against his cheek, wiping away the tears streaming down his face. Expensive perfume penetrated his nose, and he tried fighting to get away from it. “It’s alright Kei,” he says, and it does nothing to placate him, does nothing to regress the growing dread in the pit of his stomach. “You’ll understand soon, how important you are. How special and beautiful.” Agro whispered these things into his ear, devilish and lewd, before he finally stood up, shifting his attention towards the lady holding him.

  


“The Boss says they need them tonight,” he told the lady, his voice instantly losing its fake timbre and switching to something else, something hard and stony and cold. “Depending on the reception, he may start as soon as tomorrow. Although I won’t be too surprised.” He muttered out the last part, stepping away from the room, his footsteps echoing down the long corridors until they were nothing but faint sounds fading away into the distance.

  


Gradually releasing her hold on Kei, the lady let him go, carrying him back to the bed where she had him sit. She used her fingers to softly wipe at his face, clearing away some of the tears still wetting his cheeks. Her voice was soft as she spoke, sounding almost calming and reassuring.

  


“Kei, is it?” she questioned, but continued on like she hadn’t expected him to answer. “It’s okay to be scared. You’re hungry, right?”

  


Kei shook his head ‘no’, but she didn’t relent.

  


“It’s fine. Though it’ll be a while before dinner. Here,” she said, brandishing a juice box in his face, the exterior colored a bright purple with an array of fruits displayed colorfully on the front. “It’s fruit juice. It helps me calm down when I feel scared,” she said, holding it out to him until his hand skeptically reached for it, loosely grabbing on to the purple juice box until it was within his grasp. He held the box with his two hands as he examined it. It was already open, a white bendy straw inserted right at the top where he had to drink from.

  


“Go on,” she urged, gently patting his knee. “It’ll help… It’s okay.”

  


Swallowing as he felt more tears begin to push at the back of his eyes, he slowly brought the straw to his lips, letting the liquid settle on his tongue before pushing it down his throat.

  


The dark-haired lady watched as he sipped steadily through the straw. The juice was warm, but tangy and sugary, although he’d never tasted anything like it before. It went smoothly and quickly down to his stomach, and it left a weird aftertaste on his tongue after each sip.

  


  


As he drank, the lady just continued to watch, urging him to finish everything until the last drop.

  


* * *

  


Kei fell asleep a minute later, and he dreamt of murky, dark hands pulling off his shoes and clothes and taking off his glasses, dreamt of bright white lights and flashing cameras and shadows as they surrounded him, and watched him, and touched him all over.

  


When he woke up in the middle of the night, he cried and sobbed into the pillows, aware of the hand the constantly carded its fingers through his hair.

  


  


**PRESENT**

  


_“First of all, I want you to understand you’ve been through something really bad. And it’s okay to feel sad about it. It’s okay, because it was not your fault. They’re just bad people with bad intentions. They hurt people, and they hurt you. You didn’t tell them to do it, and you didn’t _want _them to. We don’t know why they did the things they did, but what we do know, is that everything they did to you, was very wrong. And it was terrible that they did that. Do you understand that, Kei?”_

  


  


  


“Tsukki…_Tsukkiiii_…” Yamaguchi’s voice as it penetrated his headspace was a long, raucous whine, successfully shifting his attention back into focus, the haze clearing to reveal the patent scenery of the gym ceiling. The water bottle in his mouth was lowered to reveal an exasperated looking brunet, his brows drawn in a furrow, and his lip tilted in a subtle frown. As the focus of his attention was made transparent, he quirked up a brow, letting the unspoken question write itself across his features.

  


The freckled teen released a sigh upon having grasped his best friend’s awareness, letting the tenseness in his expression lessen to a less concerned ease. “You okay?” he questioned, and he could feel the concern wafting from the other’s general presence. “You spaced out for a second…”

  


Blinking, he merely shrugged and leaned back against the wall, the sounds of gym clean up echoing across the space bouncing off the walls in his head. “Yeah?” he answered. “What is it?”

  


“Ah… nothing,” the other teen mumbles in reply, before looking away at the center of the gym. “Hey,” his pitch suddenly levels. “Daichi needs us over there.”

  


Kei blinked, then followed the direction of his gaze towards where the captain was calling for an extra hand to aid them with putting away the balls littered on the floor. Dropping the empty can down to the ground, he followed Yamaguchi as he moved away from the wall to answer to the captain, joining him and Narita in clearing the gym floors and placing each one in the trolley nearby. On the other side of the net, a fight between Kageyama and Hinata broke out on who could finish mopping up their side of the gym the fastest, and soon enough, after Tanaka and Noya joined in encouraging the chaos, it quickly became a contest to see who could clean the entire gym quicker than the other.

  


The entire cabaret had ended with Ennoshita having to break off the fight before Daichi blew a fuse, and the two of them actually having to clean everything else up after they’d spilled the balls out of the cart in the middle of their stupidity.

  


Not a moment later, he and Yamaguchi were outside with the rest of the volleyball club, waiting outside the coach’s store while Daichi bought them meat buns just like he usually did after every practice. He enjoyed—more or less, assented—the normalcy, the drone of his teammates and their varied chatter on whatever this guy said today during math class, or whatever practice match or training camp they had next weekend, the dawdled warning from the coach to go home and eat proper food so they could build their bodies and muscles properly, the moment of silence that would settle over everyone when they finally realized it was actually time to go home and dispersed in their different directions and headed to their respective houses. The feeling of serenity that washed over him when it was finally just him and Yamaguchi on the road, walking in the direction of their shared neighborhood.

  


He liked the predictability of it. Finish practice, clean up the gym, head out to Sakonoshita, and then go home. There was never anything he didn’t want to expect. He wasn’t particularly a fan of surprises, especially the ones that weren’t intended as purposeful or pleasant. Like seeing the path to your house had been blocked by a road accident, or being a victim of a sudden mugging, or spotting a dead animal on the street and having to try not to feel bad about it.

  


As always, Yamaguchi’s voice filled most of the silence that surrounded them, drowning out the empty crows of nocturnal creatures and passing car lights as vehicles went through the road once in a while.

  


“I mean, it’s not like I intended to bump into her.” Kei’s eyes uninterestingly wavered between the flickering lights of the streetlamps and his best friend as Yamaguchi regaled the tale of an incident that had occurred during break period. His hands gestured while he talked, sometimes going up, then sideways, or sometimes fiddling nervously with each other, like they were doing right now. “And she was really aggressive too… I even tried offering to redo the entire assignment for her but now I think I’ve made myself an enemy.”

  


_As if anyone could remain enemies with you for long_. He thought, listening intently to the freckled teen’s nervous rant._ They usually turned into bullies at the end of the day anyway_. That was probably what he was concerned about. Yamaguchi rarely got bullied anymore now that they’d entered high school and were now closer than before, although there were the infrequent cases that usually popped up once in a blue moon, like the one he was currently listening to.

  


“And you should have seen her boyfriend when he’d passed by the class and saw her yelling.” If it wasn’t cold during night time, his friend would have been sweating bullets with the amount of anxiety he was currently exuding. Yamaguchi had always been like this, so nervous and constantly worrying about too many things at once. And he always fiddled, persistently, tirelessly fiddled. “I think he’s a rugby player in his second year…”

  


He was bound to have restless thoughts, now that he’d confirmed his contemplations out loud. He knew because it was the way his best friend worked.

  


Kei wondered what he could say to him.

  


_He wouldn’t tell him that _he’d _fix it. They weren’t in grade school anymore and he could no longer be mistaken as a sixth grader_. They were past the stage where Kei had to pick him up from the ground every time someone pushed him down. Although, he’d never leave his best friend hanging when he needed his help. He wasn’t that big of a douchebag.

  


“If he’s a second year, then you have some second years of your own to back you up, right?”

  


At the revelation, Yamaguchi’s brows shot up. “Oh, you mean Tanaka-san and Noya-san?” He eyes drifted away as he began to think. “I mean, I wouldn’t want to bother them with my problems…”

  


“Is that so?” He quirked up a brow as he looked down at the shorter teen. “I thought it was alright to let other people help you.”

  


He watched amusedly as the teen’s eyes widened, lids blinking slowly as his words sank in. Gradually, he saw the anxiety lessen off of his shoulders, the tension dissipating as his fidgeting dwindled to about nearly nothing. “Oh,” He let out a breath, inattentively itching at the back of his head. “Right…”

  


A steady moment of silence settled between them as they soon passed under another flickering streetlamp, a few moth and additional insects fluttering about the lights and crawling over the brick wall beside it. They were only now a few blocks away from Yamaguchi’s house when Kei’s phone buzzed against his thigh, the short vibrations indicating it was an incoming message.

  


_Probably Akiteru_. His brother sometimes sent him a conventional text, either telling him he was going to come home late, or to tell him to grab something at the 24-hour store before he arrived back at the apartment.

  


He’d reached into his pockets to check for his phone, but was suddenly stopped by a muffled, pained wail that was just about silent enough to have been ignored by anyone else.

  


Gravel crunched silently underneath his feet as he ceased movement, limbs stilling as the two of them stopped only a few steps away, right before a narrow alley.

  


“Tsukki—” Yamaguchi’s brows furrowed upon noticing the blond’s instant silence, questions dancing in the orbs of his eyes as he observed his friend’s confounded features. “Tsukki, what’s wrong?”

  


The muffled whimper sounded again, and this time, it was followed by a resounding slam, a pained cry permeating through the thin space of the alleyway as the vain sounds of struggling echoed faintly. Slowly, he turned to Yamaguchi, and put up a finger to his lips. The message was clear:

  


_Be quiet_.

  


The other’s eyes widened, before he nodded and proceeded to stay close to Kei.

  


He leaned in, backing up against the wall as he crept barely an inch closer, his ears picking up on the silent commotion that hid itself amongst the shadows of the alley. Yamaguchi stayed close beside him, his presence near but remaining the farthest from his mind as he picked up on more of the faint turmoil draped underneath the uncrossed borders, remaining hidden and unseen by others in the silent backstreets of a silent neighborhood.

  


The muffled whimper broke off into a frightened sob.

  


_“Hey, shut up already little lady.”_ He listened in for voice, something wiry and thin, groveling in the way it twisted at your nerves and churned up your stomach. Kei felt something familiar pushing against his chest, creeping in slowly and allowing its vines to claw away from where I had buried itself in fragile soil. _“I’ll make it nice ‘n easy… just don’t move or scream, or else I’ll hurt ya_…_” _The sob resonated louder now, silent screams and begs pressed against a wicked silencer. _“Just calm down baby… damn you’re fucking cute. Me ‘n the boys have been wondering when we could get you all alone.”_ The screams were breaking off into moans now, pained and terrified as the cold of the night now seemed to seep in deeply into his bones. _This couldn’t be happening._

_This couldn’t be happening_.

  


_“Too bad I got to taste you first… the guys will love a sexy lil’ minx like you.”_ The sobs were louder now, her breaths resonating through his ears, loud sobs racking her body, cutting short her breaths.

  


She was hyperventilating.

  


_She was hyperventilating and she couldn’t breathe. The air was stuck against **her** throat, choking **her** and suffocating **her** lungs till there was nothing left. Pressure was drilling into **her** chest, pushing against **her** head, amplifying the feelings of hands around her throat, over her mouth—_

  


He couldn’t breathe.

  


_Why couldn’t he breathe? _

  


_“Just stay still—”_

Why couldn’t he breathe?

  


_“Stay still—”_

  


_There were hands over his shoulder, squeezing him and pulling at his hair and bruising at his wrists and hurtinghurtinghurting—_

_“Stay **fucking **still—”_

  


  


“Tsukki!” The hands against his shoulder softened, and moved to his face, holding it within his palms and gripping firmly enough to ground him back to the present. He opened his eyes—unaware of when he’d closed them—and stared right into Yamaguchi’s, the bright grey orbs usually alight with several emotions now diluted and widened in concern and fear. Blinking rapidly to dislodge the blurriness from his eyes, he brought his hand to his face, wiping his fingers underneath his eyes and feeling the wetness against his fingertips. _He’d been…_ “Tsukki… you have to breathe.” Yamaguchi’s voice was shaky, his fingers trembling against where he’d placed them on his face. “You have to breathe, okay? I dialed 119. Th-the… the lady—” He sounded so scared and afraid, so unsure, so horrified. His friend had never run into this kind of situation before. “Tsukki I’m scared… she’s being…”

  


He cut himself off as a cry permeated through the air.

  


“I-I don’t know what to do. I need you here… I need you to stay with me.” His voice was now merely a whisper. They were crouched on the ground, his hands, still shaky, retracted from his face and went back to being placed upon his shoulders. He felt the fragile squeeze of his fingers on his skin, on his clothes, the sensation panicky and worried, a startling array of terror packing itself into a single touch. “Please just… just—”

  


_Kei hated surprises, especially the ones that reminded him of a time he’d tried so hard to suppress. Especially one’s like this_.

  


“Yamaguchi,” Kei cut off his cries, his hand moving to grip at one of the hands perched on his face. “Shut up. I’m here.” He squeezed the hand, ensuring he was there to ground Yamaguchi, just as he was there to ground him despite the fast pounding pace of his heart or the panic threatening to congest the air around him. “I’m not gone. I’m here.”

  


  


  


By the time the police arrived, Kei and Yamaguchi were still crouched a few feet away from the alleyway, just in the nick of time to catch the assailant before he could make his nifty escape. They retrieved the lady from the alley, and aside from catching sight of the unconscious female from the corner of his eye, he did not spare her another glance, choosing to focus on the officers that were questioning both him and his best friend, and silently dejecting their commendations of how they’d done the right thing by calling the cops instead of rushing head first into danger, as the man had been affiliated with a loaded gun and several other knives and weapons at hand.

  


_Inwardly, he felt like a coward. _He’d been too afraid to even move or think just because he was scared of relapsing. Just because he was scared of remembering.

  


They’d offered to drive the both of them to their homes, even after hearing they were just a few blocks away. Yamaguchi was first dropped off at his, a policeman stepping up right behind the freckled teen so he could probably speak to his parents about the incident they’d partially witnessed. As the car drove off, he watched as his friend’s parents looked on with worry upon seeing the cops at their door, holding on to their son while the policeman relayed the events of the night to them.

  


Upon nearing his own apartment, Akiteru had been sitting on the bench in front of the building, standing up as soon as he spotted the approaching police cars. He was dressed in a loose dress shirt and faded slacks, probably about to head out somewhere before he’d sensed something was wrong when his little brother hadn’t answered to his texts.

  


The fear painted over his features melted into sweet relief as Kei stepped out of the vehicle, the older Tsukishima running up to him and planting his hands gently atop his shoulders, his eyes gleaming with a mix worry and reprieve. Before he could ask him anything about what had happened, why he hadn’t been replying, why looked like he was about to throw up, the policewoman that had driven him to his home offered to address Akiteru first and foremost as his legal guardian, allowing Kei to venture into their apartment on the fifth floor, swiftly unlocking the door and then heading straight up to his room where he didn’t leave for the rest of the night.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Synopsis:
> 
> (Concurrent)- Kei's lead through the base, much to his unease and discomfort. He's been forced to stay against his will, with the Lady trying to keep him stable and Agro trying to feed him lies. In the end, he relents, the Lady later on drugging him using a juice box as a guise. As he sleeps- in little stints of slight consciousness- they engage him in a nude photo shoot, and he ends up waking up in the night, crying while someone pats his head in an attempt to comfort him.
> 
> (Present)- As they round up with practice, Kei and Yamaguchi are walking back home when they run into a rape incident, making Kei relive his trauma. His PTSD acts up, and he starts to hyperventilating. He gets a panic attack. Yamaguchi does his best to calm him down, and afterwards, they call the police to report the incident. They both go home, Akiteru left worried as the younger Tsukishima storms into the house without a word.
> 
> Thanks for reading! You're welcome to @ me on tumblr (fanfictionbystar) and twitter (ThatgurlAnnie1)


	8. Repressing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Concurrent, Present_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn't expecting this to have taken this much time, but oh welp 😺. Apologies for the late update, and same goes for those reading One Hour and Then. I'm trying to find out what to do with the next chapter but I'm lacking inspiration (Lord help me).
> 
> Anyway, enjoy! (As much as you can). I think this chapter is lighter than the previous one, although angst might be expected.

When Kei woke up, it was dark.

His tongue felt sticky and dry, the weird aftertaste of something lingering at the back of his throat. He rubbed against his eyes, trying to remember where he was.

_Murky hands and groping fingers flashed at the forefront of his mind, the feel of sinister strokes and pulls against his clothes and skin, the flash of lights and clicks of cameras and the misty voices of strangers reenacting before his memories_.

_Fear._

_Despair._

_Horror_.

“_Aki_…”

_His brothers face, etched with anguish and dread, the rough hands against his wrists, his screams rupturing his throat_.

_The smell of smoke, gunshots, blood…_

_And the eerie voice he couldn’t remove from his memories. **His **eerie voice._

_“You’ll understand soon… how important you are… **how** **special and beautiful**…_”

**Click.**

_“Damn… he’s so beautiful.”_

_“Wait till this goes on the market…”_

** _Click_ ** _._

_“He’ll be booked for a week before you know it. Goddamn.” Click. “Wish he were a few years older.” Click. “Be a real nice piece of ass.”_

_Click. **Click**. Click. **Click**_.

**_Click_**.

A steady stream of light entered through the crack in the door, partially flooding the mats as the door widened, illuminating the portion of the room facing the entrance. A lady walked in, footsteps soft against the floors as she moved inwards, switched on the lights and closed the door. The hinges squeaked slightly as the old wooden thing clicked closed, the lady in front letting her hand linger on the door handle before making her way towards him.

He remembered her, the lady from yesterday. The one that had held his hand and hadn’t let him go even though he’d cried so much. Even though all he’d wanted was to go back home.

_“It’s okay to be scared… you’re hungry, right?”_

Her long, dark hair was tied into a loose bun, and she wore a long dress that reached just above her ankles. The look in her eyes were the same as the day before, deep blue and hollow, her smile never quite reaching the corners of her bright orbs. Kei thought she looked nice.

Yet the sight of her made his chest tighten with unease.

“Good morning Kei,” she greeted somewhat softly, coming to a stop on the edge of the bed where she chose to sit beside him. _He wasn’t shaking anymore, yet his heart still pulsed_. Her hand moved to his head, pushing against his blond locks and curls as he himself stared guardedly at her. “You fell asleep really early yesterday. Did you have a good night’s rest?”

He didn’t offer her a response, only staring at the woman for a moment longer, feeling the touch against his forehead grow warm.

The juice carton was still beside his bed.

The lady didn’t drop her smile.

“You must have been so tired yesterday,” she continued speaking, letting her hand rest atop his head. “You were so afraid, weren’t you?” she muttered softly, her fingers tracing down to the side of his face, her thumb soothingly rubbing back and forth against his cheek. “It’s alright. You don’t have to cry anymore. Let’s start the day with a smile. Okay?”

She said this, slowly lengthening the stretch of her lips, using her finger to poke against the side of his face as she did the same with hers.

She almost looked happy, smiling like that.

“Smiling makes everything feel better, Kei. Smile,” she urged after garnering nothing but silence on his end, sighing languidly and letting go when she was yet again offered with little reply. “I guess you’ll come around sooner or later,” she said, a disappointed lilt to her tone. “Come on, let’s go.” She stood up, softly taking his hand in hers and prompting him off the bed. “We’re going to meet the other children.”

At that, he looks up at her with vivid surprise written across his expression.

She giggled upon viewing his countenance. “I can see a lil’ excitement on your face.” The lady grinned, staring amusedly at him. “You’ll be happy to meet them. They are very special. Just like you.”

At that, she helps him with his glasses and pulls gently on his hand, pulling him off the bed and onto the floor mats. They were itchy beneath his bare feet, and nothing like the old one back home at the apartment. That one was soft and smooth to the touch, the fuzzy surface as comfortable as clouds and cotton candy. His older brother would often joke about replacing his bed with the living room rugs instead, regularly choosing to sit down on the floor instead of the sofa even though he’s the one that bought it himself.

They soon approached the door, the lady leading him out through the entrance and into the hallway.

It was brighter than it had been before, the lights emanating from the ceiling were on at full intensity, illuminating every corner so that all the flaws, scratches and peeling paint could be seen littering the walls. The rug in the room stretched through the hallways, covering the entire floor as far as he could see. The door opposite his opened a crack, quiet giggling voices filling the gap of silence not occupied by the shutting of the door behind him.

Peering from behind the lady, he was met with a group of peeking, curious eyes.

“_What th—_ Aoi! Koichi! Kurai!” The lady immediately jolted upon catching the children peeking from behind the door, stomping forwards and swinging the room door open so she could glare down at the other kids in the opposite room. Gazing inside, he saw it looked just like his.

“Why aren’t you troublemakers at the dining yet?!”

“Sorry, Hotaru-san!” The first two, a boy and a girl, simultaneously chorused, grinning up at her with full teeth displayed and heads tilted, though they didn’t look the least bit apologetic. “We were just wondering what the new kid looked like!” the girl hollered, voice as loud as her bright blonde hair.

“Yeah, yeah!” The boy, much taller and older looking nodded in agreement, green eyes darting between Kei and the lady as he looked on with unbridled interest. “We heard from Momo-chan who heard from Sukkun who heard from Daisuke-kun that we were getting a new kid.” He yelled just as loudly as the girl, counting with his fingers as he listed out the names of what he guessed were the other children and gesticulating wildly with every word.

“Is that so?” the lady, Hotaru-san, questioned, quirking up a brow and folding her arms as she listened to them holler and yap in reply. The both of them nodded, giggling and talking about someone Kei didn’t know about.

The third kid though, was silent throughout. She was short, with dark, full hair that reached her shoulders, and wide, curious eyes. And she stared at him from behind the two others with a strange look in her silent, hazel. Kei stared back at her, watching warily until the girl quickly averted her eyes after she’d been caught.

“That’s enough now kids,” Hotaru-san admonished, grabbing and pulling at the two children’s ears and frowning as they yelped unhappily at the treatment. “To the table. Now,” She released them, then pointed in the direction he assumed the dining would be, a twitch in her brow as she frowned at the three children. Nodding dejectedly, they scampered off, the quiet girl waving shyly at him before taking off behind the raucous duo as well. “Honestly.” She rolled her eyes, softening her countenance and turning to Kei as the other children skittered away, the two noisy children waving joyously at him before disappearing down the bend.

She muttered something to herself, then sighed as she grabbed his hand and lead him in the direction the children had taken, the grip of her hold much softer than he’d remembered from the previous day. She continued to smile down at him, tone soft—_fake_—and kind, and warm. “Come Kei, the others are waiting for you.”

From there, they walked forwards, turning down the left at the end of the hallway where an old metal door awaited at the other side.

**PRESENT**

The next morning, Kei woke up sick.

His head felt as though it had been dragged ten centimeters deep through gravel, and his vision staggered and lagged, objects blurring and clarifying before blurring again, generally feeling like he was swimming through slime filled liquid and couldn’t see what started and what began and what ended in front of him. His lungs were the worst of all, contracting more seconds than it took to breathe one moment, and then hyperventilating the next, as though the oxygen couldn’t pass through his lungs or get out of it fast enough and all he felt was the undying need to _turn everything off_.

His brother had gone in to check on him that morning before he’d gone for work. He hadn’t left ever since.

“Kei,” his brother muttered beside him, the presence of his gentle fingers carding through his hair never once leaving. If Kei didn’t currently feel like he was being squeezed dry like a lemon, he’d have long-since highly protested against the intimate, caressing touches and gestures of his dear old, older brother. But now, they felt like a constant; warm and welcome and soft, fingers parting through his locks just right, the pressure against his scalp tenderly soothing, the transitions between the mundane back and forth motion so serene and tranquil, he felt like he could stay there forever.

“Kei…?”

“Mhn…?” The younger blond droned in wordless reply, eyes closed so his world was entrapped in placid darkness.

“Tadashi-kun’s here,” he announced, voice quiet in the still silence of the room. The curtains had been left closed, though little streams of light managed to peek in between the narrow threads of the blinds. “Should I let him in?”

Kei released a tired grunt of approval, nearly whining when the presence of soothing fingers left his head upon his reply. He released a slow exhale as he listened to his brother’s receding foot-steps, and the sound of his door sliding open and shut. Not a moment later, lights from the corridor sneaked into his room as new, subtle footsteps replaced the former pair. Absently, he counted the number of strides it took for the new occupant to walk over to his bed, light steps and cautious movement indicating the presence of his best friend since his childhood.

Behind him, his bed dipped as Yamaguchi moved to sit. “Hey, Tsukki…” His voice was as soft as ever, he could hear every inch of sensitive concern wafting off of him. The sounds of a zip unfastening resonated through the room, fumbling and jostling of every type plainly obvious even when he wasn’t directly facing him. “I brought you some notes from class, and some homework… _oh_, and—” More fumbling from the freckled teen, sounds of creasing paper reaching his ears. “And the team says ‘Get well soon!’” he informed, the sounds sooner coming to a stop. “Coach also says you should get some rest, but he’s gonna make you work really hard when you come back ‘cause you still missed practice…”

If Kei’s eyes didn’t hurt so much when they tried to move, he’d have rolled them twice. _Everyone’s so sappy… he just had the flu_.

“…And… uhm…” Yamaguchi continued, subtle excitement dying down to a little apprehension. He was sure he was fiddling with something, eyes tensely peering down in a nervous tick though he wasn’t currently looking at anyone. “A-are you okay, Tsukki…? I mean, last night was—”

“Yamaguchi…” His voiced croaked at the end, throat feeling scratchy and clogged as he parted his lips to speak again. He shifted, slightly, feeling the lag in his muscles as he moved to peer over at his best friend. He looked tense—not abnormal for the freckled teen—obviously wracked with anxiety over something. Over him. When a “thank you” left his mouth, he’d almost cracked a smile at his overexaggerated reaction.

He _did _actually, though he hid it in the crook of his pillow.

“Oh… ah… you’re welcome, Tsukki,” he replied, moving his bag so he could drop it on the floor, right beside his bed. And then the mattress dipped further, so Yamaguchi was laying on the bed, right beside him. His body went warm as their shoulders and arms made contact, the feeling calmingly familiar, welcome and nearly as snug as when they would have sleepovers as children, blanket fort tented over their heads, silent giggles passed between them as they tried not to wake up the adults—well _adult_ in their case, since Akiteru had been the only one ever around.

Above them, up on the ceiling, the neon stars on the surface glowed faintly in the dark, his vision blurring slightly before focusing once more on a particular constellation arranged to spell out his name.

His aching head throbbed harder as he let the lights from the curtain and the dim neon stickers reflect against his eyes, so he closed them instead, letting the steady silence rested between them fester and grow into a long, drifting period of still, serene quiet. Moments like these, calm, quiet moments—though he was sick—were one of the best of his life. Because nothing moved, nothing spoke, and besides the thoughts running rampant within the space of his head, nothing reminded him of everything he wanted so much to forget.

His head lulled to the side, and he felt a warm, tender breath tickle the front of his face.

“_Hey_…” Kei’s eyes opened a crack, just a little to see Yamaguchi facing him in the same way. His brow quirked up slightly, as a ‘what?’ wrote itself cleanly across his face. The freckled teen seemed to be contemplating something before his reply, gnawing lightly on his lips and averting his eyes. He frowned somewhat to express his slight impatience.

“Uhm—it’s…Do you think…”

“_What?_”

“I—I didn’t know if I should’ve asked this now, but…” He fidgeted again, breathing in deeply before exhaling in one go. “What if… what if you like someone—”

“You like someone?”

“_What if_ you like someone and… and you feel there might be a chance with them, but—but you… ….” His brows furrow as he seems as though he’s looking for the right words to voice, but then it appears he gives up towards the end when he huffs out defeatedly. “Never mind, it’s dumb.”

This time, Kei did roll his eyes—instinctively, which he deeply regret afterwards—creases forming between his brows as his frown deepened into an annoyed countenance. “Just spit it out Yamaguchi,” he urged, staring into deep grey eyes that refused to meet his for reasons unknown to him. _Geez, was he that nervous about it? _“If I fall asleep now, I don’t think I’ll remember you were even here. Are you going to tell me, or not?”

“I—” At that, his grey orbs finally landed on his and stayed, eyes widened as he stared into the amber colored irises reflecting his. “I… I like you, Tsukki.”

The statement, simple as it was, nearly jarred his body off the bed, weak muscles _almost_ momentarily forgotten. If he didn’t know any better, he’d have thought his flu had done a number on his hearing and cognitive recognition.

A jumble of swirling emotions ran through the space of his head.

_He…_

His eyes had widened considerably, the movement nearly causing him a head splitting migraine.

_He…_

“Uhm,” Yamaguchi bit his lip, his nervousness coming back in full force as his brows furrowed and he was once more averting his gaze to every corner of the room except for his. “I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” he said quickly, immediately rising up from the bed and picking up his bag from the floor, back turned to him as he properly zipped it up and adjusted his clothes. “You’re still sick and what with what happened yesterday and everything you may not have been in the right state of mind to answer that and oh my God I just made it awkward didn’t I—?”

“Yama—” His voice was cut off by a throat burning cough as he tried calling for his best friend, his chest aching as he tried placating the scorching throbs. “Yamaguchi _wait_—!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’ll go!” he rambled, rushing out of the room in hurried strides. “I—” He paused momentarily before the door, turning to face him, wobbly smile adorning his face. “I’ll see you tomorrow! _Please forget what I said_.” And then, the door was finally slammed shut, the sounds of his quickly retreating footsteps audible even beyond the confines of his room. Outside, he heard his brother trying to speak with him, but was quickly cut off as the freckled teen came up with an excuse that had him leave the house even quicker.

The next person that came in was his brother, looking just as confused as Kei was confounded.

“What was that about?” he inquired, balancing a glass of water and a bowl of soup on a plastic tray table in one hand and another empty bucket in the other. The last one had been ruined when he’d thrown up his breakfast not long after eating it. Kei simply shrugged in reply, pushing himself upwards so his back rested against the headboard, the blankets falling from his shoulders and onto his waist.

“I don’t know—” he began his response, considering waving off Yamaguchi’s sudden confession as per his wishes. His mind to tried to concede to the freckled teen’s parting words, however, his flailing, stuttered breaths and the pink dusted over his freckled cheeks as he unveiled his feelings was left echoing across every inch of his aching head. He watched, contemplative, as his brother set the bucket beside his bed and then placed the tray stacked with miso soup and water in front of him. Small as it was, it really was the only thing he could more or less stomach without wanting to puke it out two seconds later.

“Yamaguchi said he likes me.”

That seemed to nearly make Akiteru fall over and plummet to the floor, what with the way he jolted and almost knocked down the tray, his hands held out in front of him, balancing his distorted equilibrium to avoid his face’s inevitable marriage with the ground. Slowly, almost comically so, he cleared his throat, and lowered himself back down to the bed, his face looking almost hesitant to turn back around, as though he were afraid to meet his brother’s gaze. He stared at him as Akiteru frowned at nothing, shoulders squaring up, hands settling face down on his lap in a determined pose.

Kei could only imagine he was giving himself a pep talk.

“S-so—” Akiteru cleared his throat again, his gaze whipping back towards Kei, the initial surprise the older had gotten from his sudden words still apparent. “_So _Tadashi… likes you huh? Did he say—?”

“Yes. He confessed it to me a few minutes ago.”

“Oh. _Oh_ _Wow_.”

His brother seemed to be in awe, his eyes still widened, though with an obnoxiously buoyant looking gleam cascading over the glaze in his amber hued orbs. Kei could feel his migraine increase before his brother’s lips parted and melodramatic things were soon spewing out of his mouth.

“Kei, you’re so grown up now!” He could almost see literal tears leaving his eyes, his brother’s bigger hands grabbing onto his and cupping them in between his palms, suddenly closing their proximity several inches closer. “I hadn’t even realized you’re at _that _age! _Awww I always knew you and Tadashi were meant to be_.” He gushed, embarrassingly clutching their hands even closer to his chest. “Tell me, when’s the first date? Have you told your friends yet?”

“Niichan—”

“This is amazing! I love it when two young people find each other at such an early stage. It’s always been a dream of mine to—”

_“Niichan_.” 

At his serious, stern tone, his brother instantly paused in the middle his rambling, the hands holding his slowly softening their hold. Akiteru blinked as he took in his younger brother’s quiet gaze, expression not giving up much, although he still expected the older Tsukishima to read him well despite his reluctance to express any inch of vulnerability. It only took a second before Akiteru was lowering their hands, but not letting go, keeping his hands on top of Kei’s own, and saying nothing as he listened to what he had to say.

“I don’t think I’m ready to date anyone.”

He released a sigh, willing his emotions back behind the wall where they belonged. His brother seemed to take in his words, gradually huffing out a sigh of his own.

“Kei,” he let his lips stretch into a smile, fingers gentle and stable over his hands. “Do you really think Tadashi will care? Even if he knows?”

Kei frowned softly, his chest tightening as his mind unwillingly went back to the previous night. _To the way Yamaguchi’s eyes were widened with a panic maybe even greater than his. To the way he shook with fear and worry, concern, maybe realization, cascading in streams down his eyes. _Yamaguchi wasn’t stupid. Kei knew he wasn’t stupid. There was no way he wouldn’t have realized— “What if he does know?” he muttered, tired eyes staring into similarly colored orbs. Akiteru was silent again as he waited for his brother to continue speaking, patient as ever, as he’d always been from the very start.

“Last night, I…” He felt the need to fiddle with his fingers arise, but soon resigning himself to folding them against the mattress when he realized he’d have to withdraw from his brother’s warm hold. He hadn’t told his older brother what had happened when the police had brought him back. He didn’t think he’d needed to. He knew his brother would worry, and he’d worry a lot. He’d worry _too much_, in fact. A habit that was a little bit more detrimental than it should be when it came to the older. “I had a—a panic attack.” Akiteru’s hold tightened as he allowed the words to settle for a brief moment before he resumed. “And it was because we…” he forced a swallow.

“We ran into a rape scene.”

He could physically feel Akiteru stifle his gasp, his hands squeezing his fingers tighter, jaw set and eyes glazed with worry and equal amounts of bewilderment. He could tell what was going through his mind.

_That there was someone being assaulted so close to here. That his brother had witnessed something so—_

“And I…”

_Something so familiar. So cruel_.

“And I couldn’t…” His hands were shaking now, a swirl of emotions warped in anger, regret and pain ran rampant through his skin, bleeding into his chest, through every part of him that he couldn’t control. “I couldn’t do anything. Yamaguchi was the one that snapped me out of it. He was the one that called the police.” His breaths wavered as he exhaled, inhaling even shakier, made even worse by the flu that weakened his system. “I’m—I’m sorry. That I hadn’t told you what happened.”

He noticed Akiteru’s eyes widen partially at the apology, but chose to ignore it in favor of unloading the burdens that weighed heavily on his chest.

“You deserved to know,” he carried on. “It was… selfish of me to—”

“You know Kei, it’s alright,” his brother said, cutting him off before the guilt pressurized his bones to dust. “I… understand, to an extent. It’s okay… I’m sorry too.” He cupped his hands in his again, an earnest warmth encircling him once more, abject to the cold he felt gripping at his heart at the resurfacing memory. “You shouldn’t have to feel guilty for not telling me everything. I’m sorry if I made you feel that way Kei. Although,” He slipped back into a heart-warming smile, crinkles appearing at the corners of his eyes as an amused breath escaped him. “It _is_ nice that we share stuff, once in a while,” he confessed. “And I’m really not going anywhere. I’ll still be here whenever my little brother needs me. You’re my reason for living, after all.”

The sensation of the warmth spreading could be felt all over, replacing the feelings he’d been trying to keep suppressed and out of sight for as long as he could remember. He could feel it especially in his ears, and across the bridge of his nose which crinkled in mock irritation, Kei sooner pulling his hands away from his grip, lips pulling back in an awkward pout.

“Don’t say such embarrassing things, Niichan,” he looked away, averting his gaze back to the food still placed carefully on top of his lap, pointedly avoiding looking at his brother.

Akiteru only laughed, amused, calling him his “cute baby brother who can’t handle a little adoration”, and adding more to the pile of reasons he’d use to avoid him for the next couple of days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter synopsis  
(Concurrent)- Eight-year old Kei wakes up the following morning, still at the base. He meets his neighbors.
> 
> (Present)- Yamaguchi visit's Kei while he's sick, and ends up confessing his feelings. It goes awry, leaving Kei conflicted, while his brother tries to help him through his feelings. Kei ends up telling Akiteru what happened the previous night.
> 
> Start heavy end light. That's my motto sometimes almost never.
> 
> Please note that these synopsis are here in case there might be triggering content within the chapter and you want to know what's going to happen before reading it. With that said, thanks for reading! Till next week probably<3<3<3


	9. Fostering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Past_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me over four months so update so I literally have no words. Sorry for taking so long 😭 Pls have this as an offer of my apology. *Throws angst and runs away*

**PAST**

Aunt Ayame had a lot of rules.

This was the first thing he learned, upon the first week of living with his Aunt at the mansion. She had a lot of rules, a lot of demands and a lot of standards. And above all, she demanded utmost obedience and respect regarding nearly all aspects of interactions concerning both them, and her.

Akiteru learned, within the first week, that the estate had only five maids and helpers, Kumi-san being the youngest, and that they worked all day and night around the house, from as early as sunrise till as late as the star dusted night. He learned the house was bigger than he thought, and that there were some places neither he, nor his little brother were allowed to go through. He learned that his Aunt required they dress up before getting to the dining room, and that they be escorted by a maid around the house, never to be left fully alone to their own devices at any time of the day.

He learned they were to never step outside the gates.

Akiteru learned a lot of things upon one entire week, learned a lot of rules and did his best to make sure he followed each and every one of them to his Aunt’s liking. However, the one law that constantly elicited the agitation continuously poking against his chest every hour of each passing day was the last and very final one.

_No matter what, you are to never step outside_.

He’d never understood why the rule had been lain down. Even now, a week afterwards, as he stared through the topmost windows of the upper floor, overlooking the estate and all its lavish greenery, hands folded atop the window sills and chin rested above them, his mind could only wonder back to the last conversation he’d had with Aunt Ayame. The cold of her voice and finality of her words still resonated within his head.

“_I will not allow it._” She’d stared him down, odious, amber eyes that too strongly resembled his looking as though he was nothing but a smudge against her perfectly cleaned shoes, her gloved hands that touched no one but herself delicately holding her purse, a maid holding open the door, patiently waiting for her mistress to step out of the building. “_As long as you are living under my roof, you will do as I say. Am I understood?_”

“_But Oba-sama—_”

“_Am I understood, Akiteru?_” 

And Akiteru could only remember looking at her in silent, perceived dejection, tears nearly stinging the back of his eyes, hands clenched at his sides, but otherwise saying nothing more, relenting and bowing in resignation. He’d muttered an “_I understand_,” right before she left, relishing only momentarily in the fact that her eyes were no longer trained on his person.

He was pulled gently out of his thoughts by a small tug against the side of his trousers, veering his attention away from the gardener mowing the outside field, and on to the little, three-year old Tsukishima by his side, small hands rubbing against large eyes as though he’d just woken up from sleep.

But at around 9:00AM, that had most likely been the case.

“Oh… Kei, good morning!” Akiteru turned, lifting his lips into a smile and putting a hand atop the younger’s head. “You’re finally awake, huh?” He slightly ruffled his blonde locks. “Come on,” he grabbed onto his brother’s hand, leading him away from the window and towards the room’s exit. “Let’s find Kumi-san and get you dressed. Then we’ll go outside and play, okay?” he stated, referring to the gardens out at the front. The previous day, the both of them had found a school of fishes hidden in a tiny cave in the pond, and Kei liked it when they’d gathered around the flakes of fish food one of the maid’s had given them. “Surugata-san got some really good fish food! They’ll be really happy when you give it to them don’t you think?”

“Yeah!” Kei brightened, nodding and then squeezing the hand holding his, his steps hastening in pace.

Today, Aunt Ayame had preferred the solace of her office and had chosen not to step out of the house, the upper echelons of the mansion completely comprised of the woman’s working space left entirely out-of-bounds and shut off from the rest of the house. This left the oldest of the Tsukishima brothers with his self-ordained task of making sure they avoided even a seconds conflict with her. Whenever she was present, it seemed as though she enjoyed the belittling glares and dually cold indifference she offered them without remorse. And Kei was still a toddler, but he could tell the younger knew their Aunt didn’t like them as much either. He’d always grip onto any part of Akiteru he could find whenever she passed by or spoke to them, sometimes hiding behind his legs and barely sparing her a peek until she’d left.

His Aunt being present meant she’d be having both her lunches and dinners within her office, which meant it was likely she wouldn’t come out until they’d both gone to bed. However, this also meant the mansion was under a stricter surveillance than it would have been should she be absent. She had helpers and security cameras that reported everything to her at all times of the day, Kumi being one of them, as she was their personal caretaker.

Therefore, in order to avoid her completely, he tried his best to do as he was told.

He didn’t know what the consequences would be if he dared to break a rule and be caught for it. _He didn’t want to know_.

“So what are your plans for today?” Kumi asked cheerily, hands engaging in the task of fitting a shirt over a fussing Kei. “Anything interesting? Yosako-san really likes it when you’re in the kitchen,” she comments, now slipping a brush through her fingers and running them over his little brother’s hair. “He says you guys are charming helpers! Even though you and Kei always eat all the dough.” She pinches the younger one’s cheeks at that, earning a little giggle from the small blonde.

Akiteru, laying on the bed with his head hung upside down from the edge merely shrugged, a hand flopped over on his side. “Well… I and Kei were planning on going back to the pond today,” he said, then rolled over onto his stomach, propping up his head on his hands. “Then maybe we’ll…” he looked up at the ceiling in thought, as though he’d find the answers on the decorated ceiling. “I dunno, Kumi-san. What do you think we should do today?”

Kumi hummed, peering into the void in thought, the brush leaving her hands and entering Kei’s, leaving the younger to play with it as he pleased. “Tsukishima-sama would let you guys into the library right?” she said, hinting towards the amount of prohibitions placed on them around the house. “And after that, your tutors would be coming very soon I think. Maybe you can ask them to stay a little longer.”

At the mention of tutors, Akiteru visibly slumped.

“What’s wrong?” she inquired, trying to tug the brush away from the toddler as he waved it about. “You don’t like your sensei?”

“I don’t.” He griped, sitting up and folding his arms, letting his annoyance show clearly. “I want to go back to school. I miss my friends.”

Kumi released a soft breath, finally having gotten the brush free and patting down Kei’s bouncy hair till it looked the least bit tame. “You know your Aunt Ayame wouldn’t allow you outside.”

“_Why?!_”

“I…” She looks away, averting her eyes towards the window panes half-covered by heavy grey curtains. “I don’t know. But I’m sure she has her reasons.”

Akiteru huffed audibly, muttering thinly below his breath in unwilling ire. “**_I’m_**_ sure she hates us_.”

Soon after, the both of them found themselves out in the wide expanse of garden, Akiteru crouching beside his little brother, watching him scatter small bites of bread into the pond, where the fish gathered around, eating away at the snacks barely sinking through the water.

“Niichan look!” He pointed excitedly at the koi fish, the little aquatics swimming about in an effort to catch all the little nibbles. “Koi!”

Akiteru chuckled faintly at the younger’s excitement. “Yeah Kei, they’re koi fish,” he said, then leaned forward and poked a finger through the surface of the water, momentarily scaring the fish and causing them to scatter several directions. “Whoops.”

“Niichan,” Kei whined, leaning down on all fours and pouting at the now empty spot in the pond, then back at him. “You scared them!”

“Sorry Kei,” he apologized, then reached for the bread, tearing off a quarter of it. “Don’t worry, they’ll come back.” He picked off a small piece and dropped it into the pond, waiting a few seconds before spotting the smaller of the three inch near the bread, swallowing it not a moment later. “See?”

“Ohh.” Kei said, eyes brightening in amazement.

“What do you think we should name them?”

“Mmm…” Kei plopped a finger against his chin, tilting his head to the side as he stared at the fish whirling in the middle of the sparkling pond, his lips pouted upwards in thought. He looked like he was trying to figure out the meaning behind a complex equation, face puckered the way his would whenever he attempted mental mathematics during one of their tutoring lessons in the mansion. Akiteru muffled a snicker at the imagery. _He looked more mature than his age_.

“… Haru!”

_Haru…? _Akiteru widened his eyes at his brother, repeating the name through mumbling lips. Kei peered excitedly at him, as though waiting for his criticism on the chosen name, wide smile gracing his lips. He stared fondly at the little blond, taking in the brightness of his gaze and the spread of his widened beam. “That’s dad’s name.”

“Dad?” Kei tilted his head again, this time in confusion, then blinked slowly as Akiteru nodded in his reply. He turned back to face the fish in the pond, crawling closer till his head peeked over the edge of the water. “He’s koi?”

Akiteru almost laughed again. “No Kei,” He shook his head, leaning back on his heels. “The fish is just fish.”

“Then…” He went back to placing his little finger on his chin again. “The fish is a dad.”

The older Tsukishima stared at the one his little brother was pointing at, gaze directing itself in the direction of the ginger coated koi fish, where it wiggled its lengthened tail around the two others swimming near its proximity, bubbles floating primly from its center towards the surface of the water. Akiteru watched as it swam to the hole located on the east side of the little pond, the two smaller fishes following along near its tail and disappearing behind the bigger koi as it went into hiding in the cover of the small crevice. In a way, he guessed Kei was right. Although it looked more like a ‘mom’ than a dad, because his dad was never really around the both of them in the way the bigger koi was.

Eventually, the sky warmed and the sun sat demurely in the sky as mid-day approached and afternoon rolled around, and soon he and his brother were called in for their daily tutoring lessons from the library.

Throughout the day, he hadn’t encountered his Aunt, and until dinner time, he hoped he never had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing about their relationship ☺ its literally so wholesome. And I'm in love with my OC, Kumi.
> 
> Synopsis:  
(Past): We learn more about the brothers' first three weeks living in their Aunt's mansion, and about the rule that restricts them from leaving past the premises of the building. A rule which Akiteru does not favor.
> 
> More angst in the next chapter 😚 I promise to update as soon as I can. Hopefully by next week or some time before.

**Author's Note:**

> Since a few of the chapters have already been pre-written, updates might or might not come in quickly. It depends on the reception anyways. Please leave your comments and reviews on this chapter! It helps me improve and motivates me to write.
> 
> (Caution: Contains heavy, mature content so be warned. It gets a whole lot worse before it gets better.)
> 
> You're welcome to @ me on tumblr here: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/darknessintheshine


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